Just Go Already!!!

Told J**** yesterday that he needed to go that he is of no use to me. I wasn't nice about it. I told him to get a job, stop drinking, be there for his family. I was at work -- he was gone most of the day and I get home he arrives a few minutes after. He has been drinking. Has a beer stuffed in his pocket. It starts.

1st Time:
He tells the girls -- "your mama hates me and wants me to leave we can't be a family." Gets them upset, crying, etc. "Don't go Daddy, Don't Go." "I don't want my Daddy to go." After a bit of this drama he goes out the door. I go outside to get some stuff out of the van and he is huddled beside of the house (it is 35 degrees outside). I just shake my head. Geesh.

2nd Time:
Same stuff blaming mama for him leaving. "Mama isn't happy, mama hates me, mama wants Daddy to go, your mama doesn't love me anymore." He looks at me and says all you are going to do is lie to them. He is rough with me. His Mama (bless her heart) calls me while all of this is going on. I have pretty much been ignoring him - hoping he will lose interest. His Mama hears him ranting and acting like a dork. She wants to speak to him. Of course, she yells at him and makes him more angry. He leaves again. The girls go to the front door and are crying after him. I watch with them. He never comes around front. I look at them and explain that Daddy is playing a game. That he is not leaving tonight. He is just hurting Mama by hurting you two. We walk around the house and the ass is under the house (our crawlspace is large). F**** just shakes her head.

3rd Time - Part 1:
He comes back in the house, screaming at me to pack his stuff. Getting rougher, etc. I say no and tell him to calm down. I tell him I know that he doesn't intend to leave, so just go to bed. Threatening looks, gestures. Tells me I'm a bitch and no wonder my ex-husband beat me. I told him to go ahead and lower himself to the ex's level and give me an excuse to kick your ass. I feed the children he goes downstairs to "leave." He falls down the stairs says he rehurt his knee. F**** and G***** get up from the dining room table to baby their Daddy. I just sit there holding my head in my hands, going "Oh my goodness."

3rd Time Part 2:
Raving lunatic. Get my shoes!!!! Pack my stuff!!!!! Get my coat!!!!!!!! Call the law and I'll tell them you pushed me down the stairs. Blah, blah, blah. I turn on TV, G***** lays down on couch (my loner), D***** and F**** get in my lap. We watch TV and ignore him. I think he left for about 45 minutes.

He came back -- gave me that stupid eye cocked brow wrinkled look and whispered. Yeah, you won't live till the morning.

I put the babies to bed he passed out. Maybe he is right -- I hate him, that is a sin.

What I did yesterday:

1) Worked on finances
2) Bought groceries using my mom's debit card (thank God for them.)
3) Price compared windstream, bellsouth, and time warner. Will probably go with Windstream for phone and DSL and turn off Cable altogether. You can get free movies at the library.
4) Edited the separation agreement to take to my attorney.

Thursday - my Sis's post

I had to work technology at a conference - my day went from 6:30 am to 6:30 pm. J**** had to get girls on bus and be responsible for children from bus arrival until I came home. He got drunk. My mom kept D***** and my Sis came over to watch the girls. He aggravated the kids and groped my sister (she has big boobs.)

Hopefully he will leave today. That is the plan.