Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Nothing in Particular

Confession: I have been smoking again -- the sign will be right on Friday -- so I'll lay the pack down again. No particular reason to start back -- just bored at night -- it was warm outside -- just seemed like the thing to do. Bless his heart -- J**** said tongue in cheek, "Does this mean I can drink a beer?" I told him, just like me -- you'd have to start back at day one. But, it is a personal choice. More or less he said I'll pass. Oh, he has been "Dipping Skoal or one of those tobacco things." Ewwwwww.

First Shift - J**** and his dad have been working at the warehouse in another town - on first shift. First shift is nice because he is at home with me and the young'ns every night. Neither of them have a driver license so they are riding with a coworker. For convenience Papaw is staying with us this week, along with his 18 pack of Miller Lite in the refrigerator. Is that disrespectful to our house? My husband respected my wishes and did not keep alcohol in the home or drink it at home. Why would there be a double standard? I respect my parents' home and do not smoke around them. I fear that it will make J**** want to drink. Even after 100+ days of sobriety. I know that cravings are hard to control. I love Papaw very much, but I don't know how to approach this. I guess since J**** is the man of the house, he will do as he sees fit. I just hope that he can handle it. I will NOT live with alcoholism AGAIN. I will pray about this. (If you can't read the sign, I love it - at the bottom it says "Women work all the time, men have to put up signs when they work."

Sober Steve - J**** and I have made blog friends. Sober Steve has a wonderful blog. He has a post that his wife wrote about feeling trapped. I read her letter and it made me cry. To recognize myself in her writing. Steve should be proud, she is so very talented. You can read his post with her letter by clicking here.

Kid Funny - Check out my Flick'r pictures and see D*****'s cheese eating technique. Ms. G***** was on the telephone with Granny S and chatting away. She tells Granny, "Guess who is here?" "Your other husband." "You know, Papaw." "Do you want to talk to him?" Heheheheheh You have to understand, not a good marriage, and strained when the two talk to each other, etc. As the old saying goes, "Out of the mouth's of babes." Oh and another thing. I hope someone can answer this question from Ms. F**** "Mommy, I know God knows everything, but does he know about fashion?" A nice point to ponder.

Brownie Vest - Ms. F**** got her Brownie patches for her vest yesterday at the meeting. The leader had Alene's fabric glue and had these six year olds glue their patches to the vests. So skewed, smeared patches, and the glue stained the vests. Real Good -- I think I'll put them in a box for a scrap book or something. Sheez, this woman is sweet, the kids love her, but she's not real bright.

The Bottom Line - Just a comment: Just because the bank account online balance says $1,400, it does NOT mean that much money is available. "Where did all the money go? You had over $1,000 in the bank the other day?" Ummmm, bills. Guess we need to go over the budget again -- we both do STUPID when it comes to money. I'd like to take the Financial Peace University course. I think it would help us both -- a lot.

Cancellation - BHP cancelled our counseling session. She had an emergency. With J**** working first shift, I have no clue when we will be able to reschedule. Bummer, I was anxiously looking forward to the session. I was looking at it with hope for helping us grow together, and with fear of what I might find out about myself. I don't know if ya'll know this or not -- but I'm not perfect. Shocking huh? Coincidentally (God is wonderful, ya know) the new Bible class series on Sunday morning is about marriage.

Weather - Beautiful weather = kids outside playing = Mom gets alone time inside. Hooray!!!!

Vroom Vroom Boots - Why do all toddlers, especially boys go through a phase where they wear the same footwear every waking minute of the day? Why is this obsession usually with boots? Here are the boots that D**** loves to wear. He wears them with long pants, shorts, diaper only, to Granny's house, at home, at play, and yes to church. I tried hiding them this morning -- but he didn't stop searching until they were on his feet. Did you notice that yes, they are Snow Boots? It is 81 degrees here and he is wearing Snow Boots with shorts. I love my son.

Web Page - I have volunteered to develop the website for our church. I have a mockup ready. Here's the website it is not working as far as links and such yet. So no comments on "It doesn't work", but you can critique the design. More or less this is just what it is going to look like. www.camdenchurch.org

Got to go now -- see ya in the funny papers!!! Nay

Sunday, March 18, 2007

That Many Blogs Can't be Wrong

Well -- it is that time of year where kids get sick and make the Mommies and Daddy's sick too.

Officially in the blogosphere it is being called PukeFest 2007.

Ours started Friday morning at 1:22 am with #1, then me Saturday night right before midnight, # 2 around 1:00 am on Saturday, and #3 around 2:00 am on Saturday. The hubby says he doesn't feel good either, but you know how men are :O).

I think the worst part is the laundry. Ewww. I felt so rough last night that I stopped blogging and left my post the way it was...no elaboration anything. You know that I am sick if the computer monitor refreshing makes me sick.

So, if you are a strange individual that enjoys reading about regurgitation in small children. Here are a few blogging mommies out there celebrating Pukefest 2007. Google it and you too will see that it is an epidemic.

Beth Ann Allen
Rachel's Pukefest 2007
Queen of the Bad Mommies
House on Fire

and the list goes on and on and on. Believe me -- it is no fun.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Tight Wad

I am turning into a tight wad.

Paid off a credit card this month. Chipping away at my debt snowball. Yea!!!

Here's the progress so far --
Arrears Caught Up - DONE - $1761.86 - 2/9/2007
Baby Step 1 - DONE - $1000.00 - 2/15/2007
Baby Step 2 - 12 SNOWBALLS left to throw
Snowball 1 - $413.00 - Thrown 2/16/07 - Legal Fees
Snowball 2 - $167.04 - Thrown 2/23/07 - Medical Bills
Snowball 3 - $242.73 - Thrown 3/15/07 - CapOne - CC1

We had a scare. J**** received a phone call Friday morning and he was laid off from his job at the factory. I was upset and J**** said that he didn't know why I was so upset, it didn't affect me. Then he realized that he worded it wrong and that he didn't want it to affect me.

Later Friday they called him back and want him to work at another factory this week and then go back to the other one due to some reorg in the first factory they laid temp folks off. But they are bringing him and his dad back. They have proven that they are good employees. Yea.

F**** had a stomach bug Thursday night and Friday. She is all better now, but I feel real yucky right now. Hope it's not my turn and hope it doesn't work its way through all five of us.

I have volunteered to do the website for my church. Hope I can do it justice.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

I am Church of Christ

Several people lately have asked me what are you? I'm a Christian
No, what denomination? I'm not in any denomination
NO, what church do you attend? Church of Christ
Ohhhhh, which one? THE Church of Christ
No, no, no -- liberal or conservative? If I have to choose I'd say conservative.
Oh, I see.
Well, no they don't see. Let me tell you what I see.

I was born and raised in THE Church of Christ. I will joke with folks and say, "Yep, that's okay, we're the only one's going to heaven." But, it's not a joke. However, I cannot judge, I am not GOD. God is a God of grace. But I do know that God is NOT one to be tempted. Matthew 4:7, " It is written again Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God."So, if I am not to tempt God -- then I had best be doing what HE wants me to do and not what I want to do.

People will say -- oh you go to that Church that doesn't have music. No, we have music. Then they'll say -- no you don't have a piano. Correct, we do not worship God with instrumental music. We read Ephesians 5:19, "Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord." and Colossians 3:16 "Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord." He commanded me to sing. I sing. So they say -- But David sang and played the harp. Yeah, so. David also sacrificed lambs and goats. Well, I can't enjoy it if it is a capella, it doesn't sound as good. Hmmm, then are you listening to the words or the melody? Speaking, teaching, admonishing those are the purposes of the songs. I am a classically trained musician, an instrument at that. My clarinet never taught me about God. It never admonished me and thankfully it never spoke to me.

So what about your creed? We have the Bible. What is your doctrine? The Bible. Your bylaws? The Bible. No what other document do you use...None in Revelation 22:18 & 19, it says, "If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues written in this book: and if any man shall take away from the words..." You see, I really don't want God mad at me. I made a comment to a friend the other day and his comment to me was, the Bible doesn't say you can't. Well yes it does...reread this paragraph.

Folks think that the Church of Christ is backward. No, we are probably the least backward Church a going...why? We try to follow what the Bible says, we beg you to correct us if we are wrong, we don't bind any other rules on you that the Lord did not place in the Bible. Because of this we do not change. Now you'll say -- see you are backward you do not change. Well, if that is the case then you can just throw Jesus Christ out of religion because you think he's backward. But, according to Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today and forever." He goes on to say..."Be not carried about with diverse and strange doctrines." I think we are supposed to be like Jesus, isn't that what those WWJD bracelets meant?

Yes, we say that we are the One true church. Why? because we are trying to do ONLY as the Bible says. We are not adding creeds, heirarchical structures with men in ranking positions, no business ties, no profit making, we are not a place for entertainment or dining. We are your brothers and sisters and we worship God. We love one another and we strive to be like Christ. No we are not a denomination because God says, I Corinthians 1:10, ..."that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment." The only way to have NO divisions is to follow only what God has spoken.

But mainly, the Church of Christ and it's people are to strive to be kind and gentle, a peculiar people, loving our enemies and our friends. We should be the lights of the world.

I know that if it hadn't been for my beliefs taught by the Church and the Church urging me to study and turn to His word, I would not have made it through a whole lot of the stuff that I have made it through. Abusive ex husband, alcoholic father and husband, money problems, depressions, the Church of Christ has given me Faith, Hope, Grace, and all of that.

So what am I, I am God's child.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I Just Can't Be Satisfied

Stop drinking...he did.
Stop doing drugs...he did.
Get a job...he did.
Go to church with me...he does.
Let's get ourselves on a budget...he agrees.

Well ---she's (me) still not satisfied.
J**** is working third shift and still seems to be having a heck of a time adjusting to it. Hopefully the time change or seasonal change will help him. I am proud of him for sticking with it. Out of the myriads of temporary employees that the company hired J**** is one of the four that they have kept. We are keeping our fingers crossed that they will keep him as a full-time employee.

However, he gets home at 7:20 am and we get home from school/work in the evening around 5:00 p.m. That is 9 1/2 hours. He still wants to sleep until he goes to work -- he'll get up and grumble at us for being too loud, eat, snarl a bit and go back to bed. This isn't good for him or us. When, oh when, is he going to adjust?

He drinks lots of caffeine at night while he is at work and comes home with a Mountain Dew in hand. This I would imagine winds him up. He says that he can't get settled down until around 11:30 am. So this leaves him 5 1/2 hours until we get home. I 90% of the time get by on 5 or less hours of sleep a night.

Again, I hate to say...I do this, you don't do that argument. I hate the physical versus mental labor argument. So starts the Nag, Nag, Nag factor.

Physical labor versus mental labor -- hoop-ti-do -- I work my ass off at home too. Up at 5:30 I dress, feed, prepare three kids for school and child care, go to work and support 100+ users, either work through lunch or use my lunch hour to run family errands, pick up children (any after school activities - me) cook, feed them, bathe them, help with homework (sometimes he does), clean (very little until weekend). He works and sleeps - and he self proclaims that it is NOT a difficult or taxing job.

So this is me just a bitching. BHP would say that he sounds awful spoiled. I have mentioned before that he tends to have this entitlement complex.

I want us to be partners. Right now, I feel like a single mom of three, with a man upstairs paying room and board. Because the man is upstairs and is grouchy, we tiptoe around being quiet. I keep them away from their bedrooms upstairs, their toys and private space so as not to wake up daddy.

So, am I just being hard to satisfy? Is it going to get better and will he adjust? Will I have a spouse again? This can't be fun for him -- no life it seems. Will he have a life? Does he want a life?

Thank goodness we are going to counseling on the 16th.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Six Year Olds Serving their Community

As adults we get complacent with the community around us and forget that we were put on this earth to be like Jesus and to serve those around us.
Jn 13:12 So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you? 13 Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet.
Jesus washed the feet of his disciples, not to dictate that we should wash each others' feet, but as an example to show us that we should not hold ourselves above others, and to always live a life of service to those around us.

Ms. F**** and her brownie troop have shown us adults that we have a long way to go in serving our community. We tend to think that we do not have time for this, or time for that, or that we are too small globally to help or to make a difference.

Here is what her Brownie troop has done so far this year:
  • They have made enough money to give over $400 to the local Nursing Home for special wheelchairs - and they aren't done yet. They will be at the local grocery on Thursday selling more cookies.
  • Also, this year they have collected canned goods on Halloween to scare away hunger and took at least a van load of groceries to God's Pantry.
  • They have sang for the residents of the Nursing home and spread cheer to them.
  • They have sent clothes, toys, shoes, and candy to children in Iraq and solicited local churches/businesses to foot the postage bill. What they sent were their own clothes, toys, etc. from their own closets. Here is the response from a staff member (Air Force Major) thanking the girls.
From: Major *******
To: Troop Leader
Sent: Mon, 5 Mar 2007 9:24 AM
Subject: Iraq
Dear Girl Scout Troop,
I want to personally thank you for your continued support and generous donations.. On behalf of myself,Sargent P**** main coordinator for CMOC, the volunteers and all the Iraqi children and people, thank you very much..The way things work here is we have rotations of soldiers coming and going .. The tours last 4 months for the Air Force which is what I am..During the last 4 month rotation there was only about 200 people seen at the free clinic.. Since we arrived here in Janurary and you began sending the packages we have seen 1400 total people!!!that's only about 50 days!!! We will be here till the middle of May... Your packages and donations have made that much of an impact onthese people and the mission we are trying to do here..It's hard for you to believe that because you live thousands of miles away in America that you make such a difference in someones life.. These small gifts of clothes ,shoes, toys, candy have a huge impact on these people.. When they get so mething from you, it's like winning the lottery..their excitement is overwhelming..You know how excited you are when you get new designer jeans,clothes,gymshoes,dolls,toys video games..etc???Well multiply that feeling 10 times!!!Even though the clothes you send are used,some torn,stained, paint on them, knees worn out, grass stains,and used gym shoes, to these people they are special .. Meaning it don't matter if they're new or used, they're special because they came from America, and were worn by an American!! All the old marks and stains make your old things unique, it gives them their own character. it's designer and special to these people..These people love us so much you have no idea..They are so honored to wear something that came from America whether its new or used they don't care to them it's the greatest thing you could ever give them..You can look down the streets and they are deserted..people are afrfraid to come out. But when an American soldie r comes down t he street all people run out to him they hug him kiss him, the children want him to play with him... It's the most amazing thing you've ever seen..They won't come out at any other time except when Americans are around..They trust us and love us that much..It's a real shame the news media don't want the American people to know this about the Iraqi people...They are really a great loving people, a little backward in their beliefs from what we are, but very good.. The news can't hide the truth anymore.There has been hundreds and thousands of soldiers like me who've written home and returned home with the truth..You can't decieve the people anymore..Thanks again for your support and donations.. You are doing a really great thing and are helping make history in the middle east..
Major H******

I am humbled by the servitude shown by these young folks. They didn't know that they couldn't impact the world. They had no inhibitions, they just did it. They were yelled at by the postal workers when they took in 40 boxes crudely taped and written, but they withstood and said it's for the children in Iraq. They did it.

I am ashamed that I do not do more. I am a proud Mommy today.

Guess we adults need to quit making excuses and realize, no matter how small our contributions do matter.