I know, I know, it has been a long time since I have written here.
Things are just wild.
Kids going to school.
Kids going to dance.
Flu * 6 -- and it's after illnesses have us all down.
The house looks worst than it ever has -- it is nasty. The loveseat in the den is now a huge laundry table.
There is just always something.
To top it all off -- as I have said, time and again, I feel like a single parent. Hubby just won't do anything -- other than add to angst.
I knew the type of man I was marrying, so I shouldn't be surprised. Read something the other day that I thought I should post on the bathroom mirror "The only person that can make me happy, is me."
Yes, he is still drinking -- once a week real good, but it is sort of "out of site, out of mind." With him working third shift, he gets drunk, and is in bed sleeping it off when we get home.
But even if he is not drinking - he still spends the entire time we are home, hidden away in our bedroom upstairs. His is a miserable existence and I explained this to him yesterday. He had been drinking or doing something to make him "not just right" and was an hour late getting in from work. He ate 4 BLT sandwiches, 3 eggs, and a huge glass of milk. Needless to say -- there wasn't anything for the kids -- so I had to make another breakfast for them. He took his food to his cave and when he came down the stairs - he fell all the way to the bottom with his plate and glass breaking on the way down. "Take me to the hospital. "
I examined him, and there was nothing wrong with him, I told him to go to bed. He whined for three hours and kept yelling down the stairs for me -- you don't love me, I probably have a broken rib puncturing my lung, you don't care. I told him to get in the car -- and I took him to the hospital and left him there. Needless to say, there was nothing wrong with him.
Now why all the fuss? Well, his orthopaedic doctor has taken him off of his pain pills. Need I say more?
Earlier this week, he drove his dad's car to my niece's house (same day he had his doctor's appointment) and wrecked it. He wasn't hurt, police didn't get him, but yes, he was drunk and the car looks bad now. Grrrrrr.
So everytime, I try to accomplish something, someone else's needs come up.
Right now -- I am waiting for someone to call because they have NO money, they are sick, they say no one is hiring, and they have 2 babies. They asked for money, I called and told them I would take them to the grocery. I have to get my 3 babies out to do this. Wonder if they will call since I am not giving cash? Things for them have got to change.
Sometimes I just wish someone would say -- "What can I do for you?"
Just happened to glance up and the kids are watching a DVD with music and the boy is dancing. My Little Pony Christmas "There is nothing that says Christmas like a pair of socks." Makes me remember every year my brother would come in from Florida and have a huge bag full of really nice socks -- we would pass around the bag -- and everyone would get a pair of socks. Good times.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
I know -- watching those reality show makeovers is like watching a train wreck. You know it is hideous and terrible of you to want to see such horribleness, but you can't help it -- you just have to gawk.
So here goes --
What Not to Wear
Yep -- I need to be turned in to the fashion police. I still wear clothes that I wore ten years ago. My good clothes were hand me downs from a woman old enough to be my mother. I only buy things off of the clearance rack - because I am "frugal, cheap, broke." I spend my days in pajamas unless I go to work or church. I am a fashion nightmare, my clothes are worn and thin. From time to time -- yes, I know -- too much information, I still wear my nursing bra.
The Super Nanny
I try to instill the best that I can in my children. But find myself resorting to threats, and yelling. I have no backup from my husband who rolls his eyes and retreats to another room. He hides away the whole time we are here and I am placed in a position of single mom with a husband. My day starts at 5:00 a.m. and ends at 1:00 a.m. I work, I take care of children, house, yard, car, homework, teach Bible Class, and try to have a home website business. Trying to give full attention to one child for homework, the other two run rampant. Trying to clean house, they run rampant, trying to get them to help -- but Daddy doesn't do anything. We need supernanny.
Hubby and I got an '88 Mustang back in 2000 and he drove it for one summer and out went the transmission. Now -- it sits and sits and rots and sits and well, it would just be way cool if Chip Foose would come and make the darn thing run and look good. Then I'd have something cool to look at in my back yard instead a rusting hunk of metal.
My house is completely out of control. There is no organization, it has been overrun by toys, animals, children, and computer equipment. If my friend at work's wife were to come over -- she wouldn't go past the front room -- which stays clean because it is too small to do anything in. The kitchen table doubles as a homework table, mail spot, catch all, eyesore. The den is a playroom and god forbid I have company, they would have nowhere to sit. The loveseat is a laundry table -- with three kids -- laundry is neverending -- I wash then fold, sort, etc... on the loveseat. They stay there and just keep getting recycled.
I love to spend a lot of my time out doors, I like to sit on the porch. I hate my yard. I grew up with a father that took care of the yard. Well as I said previously I am married to a hermit. A couple of months after we bought this house there was a storm -- and it blew off a shutter. That was in 2004. The shutter is still missing. Our yard is full of kids toys, yard tools that he uses for a tiny project that I make him do and he doesn't put them away. I mow, I clean the yard, I trim the trees, I can't keep up -- the dog has warn paths in the back yard, the swing is falling apart, there is a big "crop circle" looking thing in my yard where the kids had their pool -- which was moved to the other side of the yard to kill the grass and make a new semi circle. Oh yeah -- there's the '88 mustang and dead garden.
Okay, he's not as bad as the folks they show on this TV show, but it would make an enlightening episode to show how a man that is still drinking, and fighting drinking alone -- needs to seek help. This is why he is a hermit. He drinks heavy once a week. His life is miserable, ours is miserable. He needs help, he refuses help, he works, he drinks, he sleeps, he is a hermit.
I love myself by eating. When I feel used, abused, taken advantage of...not loved. I eat. Not out of stress, but out of lack of attention. I am fat - I know that. Hey Sis -- let's apply for the casting call.
Maybe they can all just have one big mini-series featuring "us". Wouldn't that be something.?