Sunday, March 20, 2016

The End

It has been quite a while since I blogged.  Blogging was extremely cathartic for me.  Therapeutic is an understatement.  But with three kids, an ailing parent, and all of the other excuses that I can think of, it became non-existent in my life.

It has been years, and oh so much has happened.

And tragically, it all has ended.

My husband died on December 22, 2015.  Five days after my mother died.  I jokingly told my brothers and sisters in Christ -- "Be careful what you pray for..."  I have prayed to God to remove the burdens of my life.  Fifteen years married to an addict, over three years of an ailing and dying mother.   In five days, two of my "so called" priorities in life.  Gone.

Grief sucks, it's guilt, it's anger, it's memories, it's stupid little things like "Frosty the Snowman" that make you cry when the line is sang "Don't you cry, I'll be back again some day."  It's a daughter saying, "Mama who will walk me down the aisle?"  It's a daily I DON'T WANT TO!!!  It's panic attacks, it's I want every one to just go away and leave me alone. I just don't want to do anything.

This sounds like a giving up letter, it is not.  It is a get your life back together letter.  I HAVE TO get out of this funk.  I HAVE TO go to work.  I HAVE TO pay attention to three kids that are currently floundering on their own, because Mom has just lost it.  I HAVE to clean the house -- it is GROSS.  I just HAVE TO.

I miss him.  I miss my mom.  I miss me.

The Estranged Enabler is no longer, she is now a widow.  Widowed by his disease.

I have heard that in order for a seed to grow, the seed dies.  The new plant will then grow.  With death comes new life. 

I HAVE TO ... live again.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Sunday's Sermon Notes - Church at Antioch

Notes I took from a sermon preached by Wayde Miller.

The disciples were first called Christians at Antioch. Not as a way to differentiate from the Jews, not as a negative term by their enemies, but as a name of love from God. God gave the disciples this name.

The church at Antioch was a church filled with grace, there was no prejudice -- Jewish descent, Greeks, all types worshiped together in Antioch. Today we are to beware of prejudices among Christians - we are all one -- no difference in color, economics, family ties, friendship, etc. All should be ONE in Christ.

Acts 11:19-30
19&20 - the church was established at Antioch both Jewish Christians and Gentiles. The message preached to them was the Lord Jesus - a message on ONE saving.
v 21 - told to believe and turn to the Lord.

Antioch was the third largest city in the Roman Empire, a paganistic, materialistic, sinful city. The church thrived in this city, it was a church of grace, always helping other churches, the brethren, and teaching the Lord Jesus. We too should teach their same message --

Whose Message? What Question? Do you believe in Jesus Christ?

"The worst the sinner, the more in tune he is to hear the Word." Christ taught to the sinners. We should all remember that we are sinners and be willing to hear the Word and to study God's Word.

More than belief is needed. "Faith Only" is not what Jesus wants. Salvation is simple: the Christians at Antioch believe AND turned to the Lord. New Testament belief IS doing something.

John 12:42&43 -- believe AND confess (confession is doing something)
Romans 10:13-14 -- believe AND call on the name of the Lord (calling is doing something)
Hebrews 11:6 -- believe AND Come to God (to come to God is doing something)
Mark 16:16 -- believe AND be baptized (to be baptized is doing something)

The message was always the same -- believe and do something. Even the devil believes -- we are to do something.

Always remember -- Christian is a name that God has given YOU. Do NOT take it for granted, it is an honor, not a classification of religion as it is seen in today's society. But our family name, our name in Christ Jesus.

Friday, August 22, 2008


This is an email that I received last week -- there's no elaboration needed, it says it all...


A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to

Leave the examination room and said,

'Doctor, I am afraid to die.

Tell me what lies on the other side.'

Very quietly, the doctor said, 'I don't know.'

'You don't know? You, a Christian man,

Do not know what is on the other side?'

The doctor was holding the handle of the door;

On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining,

And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room

And leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said,

'Did you notice my dog?

He's never been in this room before.

He didn't know what was inside.

He knew nothing except that his master was here,

And when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.

I know little of what is on the other side of death,

But I do know one thing...

I know my Master is there and that is enough.'

Debt Free for Me

Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps

Catch Up
Arrears Caught Up - DONE - $1,761.86 - 2/9/2007

$1,000 to start an Emergency Fund --
REPLENISHING -- Murphy came to visit and we are having to buy a new motor for our van.

Pay off all debt using the Debt Snowball
Snowball 1 - $413.00 - Thrown 2/16/07 - Legal Fees
Snowball 2 - $167.04 - Thrown 2/23/07 - Medical Bills
Snowball 3 - $242.73 - Thrown 3/15/07 - CapOne - CC1
Snowball 4 - $300.00 - Thrown 4/12/07 - Pinnacle Finance
Snowball 5 - $300.00 - Thrown 5/21/07 - FIL Repay
Snowball 6 - $645.48 - Thrown 2008 - Misc. Med Bills
Snowball 7 - $321.33 - Thrown 5/5/08 - CapOne - CC2
Three to six months of expenses in savings
Invest 15% of household income into
Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement
College funding for children
Pay off home early
Build wealth and give!
Invest in mutual funds and real estate