Look at those eyes...The body language...
Poor little lost soul....
"Save me...
I've been bad, I know, I'm sorry....
Pweeeeaaasssssseeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
I've seen the light, I'll never do it again.
Really babe, just hold me, help me, no one else can.
I'm sick, I need help, " and on, and on, and on, ....
I took this picture two years ago after a night of extreme crazy shit. I was pregnant he was having a good ol' time. See that pitiful, day after, I'm sorry, look in his eyes. Yep, that's what he has looked like since the Niece brought him home.
But, I'm hanging tough. Gonna break this cycle, gonna break these chains.
This time it is just "hug me baby, kiss me, show me some affection, I just need love." Again, in front of the kids so they see Daddy all loving and kind and Mama is the one pushing Daddy away being aggressive and mean. He ain't as dumb as he looks.
Two years ago the promises didn't hold true. Two months ago the promises didn't hold true. Two weeks ago the promises didn't hold true. Now what makes him think that the promises from two days ago are going to hold true. "Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice shame on me, Damn, I'm a fool."
Other items:
- Everyone knows that I have contacted the attorney and said "Git-R-Done! "
- Mother-in-law is being his mother as it should be and looking out for his best interests.
- My mother is being overprotective of her grand-babies.
- Sis is sitting back and being quiet and just waiting for me when I need her. She's cool. She knows.
- Christmas is going to be awkward.
He's helping with homework, he's getting them ready for bed, he took out the trash, he picked up the toys, he unloaded the dishwasher, he's been loving and kind and helpful.And, he's let me know that he has done these things. When I went to BHO (my counselor) she talked about him always needing the "pat on the back." Well, these things should be done because they are responsibilities not because you want or need praise.
One time he did break from his charm and get aggravated and sound like the old J**** and yell.
I guess for the last couple of days these words ring true: Yep -- World's Best Dad!!!
Yes, I have been a BITCH. No ifs ands or buts about it. Major league, extreme bitch. I wonder why?
I've done the things that I am responsible for, that I am expected to do. I've taken the kids to their functions and started Christmas shopping.
But, just dealing with the alcoholic charm is making me a mean ol' BITCH. By the way, the poor, poor, pitiful me thing is very unmasculine.
And to give credit where credit is due -- where this is a very unhealthy situation, going through a divorce and still being under the same roof -- I yelled at the kids and it too was unwarranted. Shame on me.
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Here's something I found when I Googled Alcoholic Charmer == I should have known there'd be a drink with the same name.:
4 cl Scotch whisky
1 cl Blue Curacao liqueur
1 dash dry vermouth
1 dash orange bitters
Shake ingredients with crushed ice. Strain into cocktail glass.
Serve in: Cocktail Glass
37.0% (74 proof)
122 calories
2.80 carbohydrates
122 calories
2.80 carbohydrates
4 comments:
You are not a bitch. You are just angry. But you know what? In the process you are finding your self too.
If you are really certain about going through with the divorce, I think it is going to be really hard to stick to your guns if you continue to be under the same roof with your husband. About 25 years ago I was in the same situation as you. Married to an alcoholic. We had a three year old. About a year before we eventually split for good I told him I wanted a divorce. I made the mistake of agreeing to stay under the same roof with him while we started divorce proceedings. My ex convinced me (with his lawyer's urging) that it would be less costly that way. To make a long story short, after so many days together in the house I started to waiver. He was on his good behavior at that time of course and one day while he was at work, I was fretting about what life would be like after divorce and I got scared of the unknown. I called him at work and told him I couldn't go through with it. He was elated. He came home with flowers for me and less than a month later he was back to drinking and all the same crap.
The next time we separated when I was visiting my parents in another state and he got drunk and left the house in a huff and went back home. He never dreamed that I would stay put and finally get the strength to go through with the divorce. Being surrounded by a family support system like I was made it much easier to see the big picture and realize that he was not going to stop drinking and I needed to look out for my child and myself.
By the way, I have a picture sort of like the one you have that conjures up those bitter memories.
My ex is standing holding a cake that I made for our anniversary. He is half hungover and half still drunk (with heavy eyelids and a creepy grin) and has a big piss stain on the front of his jeans. He didn't even know he had pissed himself. I never noticed it myself until the Poloroid developed before my eyes back then.
My advice: if he won't leave, you and the kids should move out as soon as possible.
You rock woman. Keep the faith. Keep being a B.I.T.C.H. Those babies will love you for it later.
If he respected you, he would move out per your wishes and "prove himself" by standing on his own two feet. He's just a parasite desperately trying to hold onto his host organism.
TRAINWRECKERS ARE WOMEN!
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