Sis Lets J**** have it

See Sis's blog....

Link Removed because of nosy assed, trouble makers.

I love you Big Sissy.

So -- Sissy has sent me an electronic copy of what she wrote -- here it is...

Dear Brother-in-Law



I know you occasionally read my blog so I've been thinking that I'll use it as an opportunity to put down my thoughts and feelings about the current problems you and my baby sister are going through. You can tell me to butt out, that it's none of my business -- but you know what, I don’t care, sometimes I just have to have my say. So, here goes...

What I’m about to say is the truth - and sometimes truth hurts like hell. I'm saying these things to you because I hate seeing the unhappiness you have put in my sister's eyes. Especially when I looked at her this evening, she was so sad. It broke my heart.

It's time for you to listen. So, if you don't want to read this, click on that little “X” up there in the right hand corner. But for now, it's my turn.

I am worried about my sister and her babies, especially when I see how they react to you when you are drinking. For every action there is a reaction. My sister’s reactions have become sadness, torment, and confusion. Tonight I watched her - she's about ready to explode - and you have helped her get to that point! Tonight I listened to her cry – she is suffering – and you have helped make her like this. I don’t know how much more she can take.

If you remember, you and I had a little talk a couple years ago; our talk came about after I found out about a particular drunken night you had, a night which you scared my sister pretty bad. I took you for a ride in my car. I told you I was very angry with you. I told you some stories about how my kids grew up watching their daddy do the same exact things you had done and I begged you to not do that to my sister ever again. You said you would never be like that.

Then about a year ago (after another drunken night blow up) I came to your house and we sat at the kitchen table and you told me that you wanted to do right. You cried and said you wanted to show her that you could be a good man, a good husband, and a good father. You begged her for another chance; you told her that you'll do better.

Then about a month or so ago (after you passed out) she had to grab up her babies, in the dark of night, leave the safety of her home, and escape to my house. Because you laid your hands on her and you scared the children!!!! How dare you!!!!

You are doing EXACTLY what my EX did to me and my kids. No, you are not him, but after I spent a few hours with you today, you brought back some old memories of how I used to live my life. It made me sad. I don’t want that for my sister. I don’t want that for my nieces and nephew. Enough is enough.

Don't you realize that everything you do, no matter how big or how small, no matter what it is, those babies' eyes are right on you - taking it all in. They are like little sponges, soaking it ALL up in their little brains - watching and learning more from you than you will ever realize. School is going teach them the 3 Rs, "reading, writing, and arithmetic. Right now you are teaching them the 3 Ls.

1) How to drink Liquor
2) How to Live with an alcoholic.
3) How to Lie to your friends and family.

When I was going through my divorce, my popaw told me that he liked my EX, but my EX wasn't doing right by his family (being a drunken, drugged up, pot-head) and that what he needed was a baseball bat upside his head and to find the Lord. I wonder what popaw would say about you right now. He'd never come right out and say it, but my thought is that he'd be pretty ashamed of you.

You know, I have come to realize why I don't get along with my mama - it is because I was mad at her for a very long time. Mad at her for never getting us kids away from our daddy when he was drunk. Maybe I'm still mad because she taught me to do the same thing she did – stay there and take it.

I did that. And my daughter hated me for it. I did not protect her when she felt she needed it the most. I failed her. It is a parent's duty to protect their children from harm. I finally escaped - but it was too late, the harm had been done - to me and to my kids. Today my daughter is practically living the same life I lived and my son is becoming his father.

Do you want your girls to hate their mother for not protecting them from you when you come home drunk or high? Do you want your girls to hate you for putting their mother and them through this hell? Do you want your son to drink and get high with you? Is that something you look forward to doing? Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

It's a vicious cycle and it needs to be broken - but as long as this continues, that's what's going happen to your family. Do you really want that?

You will say "I'd never harm my kids" - maybe not physically, but you are harming them mentally and emotionally and that hurts far worse than any bruise ever will. Bruises go away. Bad memories stay with you and can definitely cause irreparable harm.

She may continue to put up with your ways and put up with your drinking and getting stoned or high, because deep down inside she'll have hope that one day you’ll wake up. But while all this is going on with you and while she is waiting, you know what will happen - she'll finally come to hate you and hate everything about you. One day she’ll wake up and say, “I’ve had enough, I’m done.”

Things have got to change. You need to admit you have a problem and get help. Quit drinking. Quit medicating yourself with pain pills. Quit smoking pot. Get a job. Help out around the house. Be a father to your children. Be a loving husband. If you can’t do any of these things for your family or even for yourself – then get out of their lives. Lord knows no one can MAKE a person do anything until they are good and ready. She can't make you change your lifestyle - that's entirely your decision. If you are not ready to step up and be the man your family deserves, then I'd really like to know your reason why.

Why?

Sissy, I wrote this out of love for you, and if I have overstepped my boundaries or offended you in any way, I truly apologize. I hate seeing you go through the same things I did. You know if you ever need me, I'm a phone call away.