What's That All About?

Ok -- he's out of jail until Friday night. He called me on the cell, I was at my mom/dad's picking up the kids. He asked -- why are you off work early? In that tone, you all know what I'm talking about. I told him -- I'm on my way home, I'll talk to you then.

Got home, he was in the shower, and until I put the kids to bed he was Mr. Mopey, woe is me, pitiful, martyr guy. He mumbled under his breath everytime I said anything. The kids were all over me (snuggling and cuddling), he mutters, "yeah, they don't want their daddy anymore." He helped with dishes, and muttered under his breath. I put kids to bed - D***** didn't want to go down -- J**** said, "I'll go downstairs out of the way maybe he'll go to sleep." Earlier watching TV, "I'll go upstairs and get out of ya'lls way." Constantly -- that tone. Pity, pity, pity.

I told him after kids were finally asleep. J****, I have purposely pulled myself back a step from our relationship to shield myself from being emotionally hurt by you again. I explained to him a conversation that I had had with my father earlier (daddy was "half lit with Old Milwaukee") about the divorce. I let J**** know that yes, we did have a great weekend without him and as it stands the divorce is going through. You are the only one that can give me reason to change this and so far you have made no attempt to keep your family. I think he is finally realizing that his time is short.

Okay -- my dad. Daddy is an alcoholic too. I am an ACA (Adult Child of an Alcoholic). When I walked in the door to pick up the kids, I could tell Daddy had been drinking today. He usually does this a little more excessively when he wants to communicate. J**** calls it "liquid courage." Daddy confronted me about the status of the divorce. I told him that it is still on but that I'm just taking it slow. The lawyer is waiting for me to call him and everything is ready. Daddy, "well you're going to lose out, and lose everything." I think that is referring to the money for the lawyer. Daddy also sniped, "you probably even have it set up that J**** doesn't have to pay any child support." I told him, "No, daddy you are wrong and I don't want to talk about this today with you."

Then when I got home J**** was the spoiled little pouty brat.

I got the book "Women Who Love Too Much" in the mail this weekend and have started reading it today. I'll let you know what I think -- and yes, it already sounds like me, and yes if you are wondering -- we are still intimate, but most of the time it is just easier to "get it over with" than to listen to him whine about it and be all touchy touchy. He's really aggravating sometimes.

My great-grandfather was committed to a hospital for insanity, my great-grandmother too. They say my grandpa was way out there, and my daddy suffers from severe depression -- maybe I got the "nutty gene" too, cause right now, phew -- they are driving me NUTS!!!