DUI Update

Well I started typing and rambled for quite awhile -- oops navigated away from the page. So here I go again -- just thought I'd whine. Actually what I had written before was quite whiny. So going to try to get away from that.

Here's the DUI update on J**** -- Starting June 23 - he will be serving weekends until his 12 days are up. This is good and bad -- good because he won't miss F**** and G*****'s dance recital. Bad -- because to me -- he's getting off easy and his retribution is a slap on the wrist. Not that any jail is good, but he has served a straight 60 days in jail before and as he says about weekends, "I can do that time standing on my head."

Question, am I enabling him by taking him to work? He now has no driver's license. So -- I drop him off in the mornings at a co-workers home and he catches a ride to work. Is this enabling or is this just something that needs to be done? Little confused on that point.

Irony -- His dad is a career alcoholic to the point of having seizures due to the alcohol. Anyway -- he's a sweet man and is an enabler also. He has jumped in and is taking J**** to his court appearances and will be enrolling in and taking the DUI classes with J****. Oh -- yeah -- I didn't mention this, his dad has been driving on a DUI suspended license for two years now. Now these are two smart cookies.

Catch22 -- I file for divorce, my justification to myself is his addictions. He binges and gets DUI -- now I'm fully justified. Now he's back to teetotaler mentality. Back in 2001 he was sober for 803 days. Did this by withdrawing from world with exception of family and work. Then he had no driver's license, now he has no driver's license. I've been with this man for over seven years, I know him. We are going to be riding the wagon for a while. Am I still justified in the divorce -- cause I'm still bitter and he gets on my nerves right now because of the bitterness.

BHP's insight -- she told me that when a recovering alcoholic relapses it is 10 times harder to quit the second time. This is why so many people can quit cold turkey the first time, but need help of something like AA the second time. Well, let me reflect on the other side of that coin, it is also 10 times as hard for us codependent, enablers to forgive the second time.

Flickr -- Check out my Flickr Pics. The whole family is represented in the pics. Here's one of J**** after a DUI wreck with the neckbrace and everything. This is at the hospital and shows how very intoxicated he was. This episode did not lead to him being charged with anything, but did result in a $25,000 hospital bill. Yikes!!!!

Well -- I have no deep reflections for this post. Will write again when something significant happens. Thanks for the comments.