The Good the Bad and the Ugly

The Good the Bad and the Ugly was on TV today. I like to look at Clint Eastwood. But, I digress. That also makes a good title for today's post.

The GOOD. J**** went to church with us today. I reminded him, even though you don't like to go and you feel awkward, it is a source of rejuvenation for me and I would appreciate it if you would go, if for nothing else, to help me with the children.He hummed and hawed around but he did go and he survived. He says he doesn't see why I needed his help, because they were little angels today. There is something about the presence of a father to make a child be a little more well behaved. Don't get me wrong -- they are good kids, but sometimes three is a hand full.

The BAD. I hate to be yelled at. I hate yelling in general. I would rather be hit than to be yelled at. So, I know the children don't like it. After church (let's be an enabler and blame it on withdrawals) he yelled at them constantly. Yelling is one thing, but don't curse at my children. He doesn't see it as cursing at them. (Aside -- have you ever seen that episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Spongebob and Patrick embellish with colorful language. Imagine that with yelling.) He uses the ugly words to emphasize. I think they are demeaning and the children become desensitized to the yelling and the language. I can get them to obey me much quicker or even to listen to me better, if I speak softly and calmly. He can yell and yell, and I will say to him, just speak normal to them and they will turn around and respond. I brought the yelling up to him after they went to bed and suggested that he vent his aggravation, anxiety, whatever it is in another venue. I even suggested getting him a paddle ball game. So everytime he was frustrated he could play paddle ball. He laughed and said, I get what you are saying and I will work on it.

The UGLY. That would be me.The stress of the day, the yelling, the kids cooped up inside on a rainy day all placed me in a foul mood. I finally snapped and let everyone have it. F**** got a talking too about the Golden Rule (I sounded like a hypocrite - yes children learn from example, I know, I know), G***** got an apology for me not taking the time to read to her, and well D***** just got snuggled cause he's small.

Update on Divorce: Got a bill from the attorney yesterday and have used up all but $380 of my $1250 attorney fee and still don't know where I stand, haven't seen the papers but I think they take a couple of weeks to process (on custody, child support, and occupancy). This blog is called Estranged and Getting Stranger. Estranged because I have filed for divorce and strange because, we still share the same household, he acts as though there is no divorce and sometimes we are like the perfect little family. We are totally f**ked up right now. (Excuse my embellishment.)

Got to go -- kids are up out of bed -- they want Mommy.

Gnite.