Friday - we sat around and didn't do much at all, just enjoyed our children and the company of family.
Saturday - we tackled a project that we had been putting off for ever. We went through toys -- 2 paper boxes full of McDonald's toys (that is horrible). One industrial trash bag full of trash. A lot of recyclables. One industrial trash bag full of stuffed animals, we will go through and make them choose which one's to keep - the rest go. One industrial trash bag half full of baby dolls - same as stuffed animals. J**** also cleaned the utility room, and I cleaned G*****'s closet. All in all - toys are organized, each kid has designated toy areas in their room, and we have come to the conclusion - they are very spoiled and have way to much stuff. G***** had a Daisy Scout function that night. Now I will be looking for a bunkbed.
Today - we got up, ate breakfast drank coffee. Got a call - someone was having domestic problems and alcohol or drugs seemed to be in the mix. I realized it felt good to not be in that situation. No drama for me today. Wow - did I just say no? We were getting ready for church, but due to the ice they postponed it until this afternoon. J**** fixed lunch, the kids have played, the son has napped, and J**** has gone to play basketball with buddies (sober buddies). The girls and I baked cookies.
It has all in all been very nice.
I've had a couple of episodes where I was ashamed of myself for losing my patience and feeling jealous over his time to go play basketball and get away. I communicated this to him and he said that I can go do things that I want. I just haven't felt comfortable with his drinking history to leave my three with him for an extended period of time. This is something I will have to get over to have some time for me, that will be hard until I trust his sobriety.
That sounds so selfish. Me, me, me, me, me. I forgot who she was. Think I'll take a nap - the boy seems to have a fever and he needs some snugglin'. Then I'll get up - cook a big supper, bathe the three, put them to bed and J**** and I will work on the budget.
We are starting to be boring -- Cool.
3 comments:
Nay,
It has been awhile since I have checked in. I can't tell you how happy I am for you. It seems things are going pretty good for you right now, and that is so great!
Normal is good. No! Normal is great! So happy for you!
Nay, I wanted to share this post I just read with you. Maybe J can relate?? Now, I am not meaning this in a bad way, and hope it isn't taken that way. I hope maybe it just gives some insight to others, maybe J, himself, and lets him see he isn't alone. Here it is...
Honesty
Alcoholics are not inherently honest people. I think others tend to think that alcoholics lie about alcohol intake and sneaking drinks (and some of us do), but being honest with ourselves and others in all areas of our lives is what plagues us. We convince ourselves through denial and rationalization that what we are doing is honest. But our actions are controlling and dishonest. "If only" is our mantra....
"If only my husband would change,"
"If only my kids would behave,"
"If only I didn't suffer from this terrible depression,"
"If only I didn't have such a headache,"
"If only my family member (insert your most frustrating one here) wouldn't act that way towards me,"
If only, if only, if only.
Getting honest with ourselves means acknowledging that our problems stem from ourselves. Others may cause us pain, hurt, and anger, but we have control over how we respond to the situation and what interaction in the future we would like to have with that person. We may have hurts or resentments in the pasts, but we let those go. We finally get honest with ourselves and make amends to those we have hurt in the past with our words, actions, or lack of action. Getting honest means letting go of the millions of resentments you may have toward a certain person (and maybe justifiably so) and making that itty bitty amend to him/her where one of your character flaws came through. Humbling, isn't it? If you are wallowing in self-pity, surely you have some amends to make in your life.
One final thought:
"Sometimes honest confession can seem astonishing, impossible, and dangerous. Because we have learned silence so well, we experience honesty as full of risk. After all, if we are honest, then other people will know what we think and feel. We will be exposed. The appearance of strength and competence we work so hard to cultivate will have to share the stage with our weaknesses,
our failings, our sins.
When we practice honesty as a daily discipline, however, something happens to us. The promise of this text begins gradually to grow in our lives. We begin to heal. It is not a dramatic, once-for-all-time, quick-fix kind of healing. Nor is it a private healing, a healing that happens only 'inside' our heads.
Honesty leads to healing because people can now express their love for us in practical ways. Honesty leads to healing because we no longer have to pay the high tariffs that pretense demands. We heal because the experience of acceptance counteracts the contempt we so easily heap on ourselves. We heal because we are no longer alone. We heal because we are known and loved.
Honesty is a discipline with a promise. We will be healed."
(author unknown)
"That sounds so selfish. Me, me, me, me, me. "
Our culture has made 'selfish' out to be a bad personality trait..it is not. I have found that if one does not take care of ones self first and foremost one cannot take care of others.
I have also found that when I am accused of being a selfish person it is always by some one who wants something that I have that I am not willing to share..usually money. Sociaety has used the term 'selfish' to try to put the producers on a guilt trip so they will 'share' with the looters..shades of New Orleans.
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