1-2-3...Phewwww

My sister is 13 years my elder and she has two children, that were small when I was a teenager and I still lived home with mom/dad. She would bring them over on Sunday afternoon and when they would leave we would all go "1,2,3...Phewwww." Well, we were at her house last weekend and my children were typical children. D***** spilled a softdrink on the floor, I got it cleaned up, one of the girls got honey on the loveseat, and they were all three just ninety-miles an hour. I know that when we left. Sister probably went, "1,2,3...Phewwww."

Today -- I am going "1,2,3...Phewwww." They have driven me to the point of ????????. I don't even know what to call it.

Where to begin.

We were sleeping good, Mama called at 8:00 a.m. Up got all three and it was on. Last night I had told Mama that some Ritzy-Ritz neighborhood here in town was having a neighborhood yard sale and it might be fun to go. Well -- Mama was ready to go at 8:00a.m. I told her I'd call her and let her know -- because I'd really like to get the house cleaned up today. She shows up at my front door at 9:00 a.m. Let's go (perky too.) The kids were watching a movie, and I was going to start their breakfast. They wanted to watch their movie, but we went with Granny instead. Well, I'd only had one cigarette this morning and I don't smoke in front of Mama out of respect. So, we go "junkin" until 10:30 - me no cigarettes. You can imagine.

Then there's the rich bitch that was too lazy to price her items, I get to her with a cute matching Nike outfit for D*****. Still has a price tag on it. She says $7.00. It has a clearance tag on it for $3.99. I calmly said, "I'll pass." and I left. Now -- I have yard sales, but not to turn a profit, but to get rid of stuff. It is better than throwing it away, getting a little money is a perk. What is left either goes in the trash or to Goodwill. I bet "Mrs. Howell" never has been to a Yard Sale in her life.

We get home, the kids finally get (not breakfast) but brunch from McDonalds. They get to watch their movie and I get a cigarette. "1,2,3...Phewwww."

They are watching a movie -- so I clean the pool (little K-Mart pool nothing extravagant). But it was a job -- D***** helped and they now have a full clean pool. Clean pool = neighbor kids = nothing else accomplished for the rest of the day.

Other highlights - D***** did take a nap but was really clingy, the cats knocked the pizza box off the stove onto the white tile floor meaning I had to mop, D***** pooped in his swimming trunks (not in the pool thankfully, but still very tricky to remove), I straightened up the upstairs TV room just to go into the kitchen to find that D***** had decided to feed the kittens by turning over the bag of dog food onto the newly mopped floor, had to referee between girls and neighbor child several times, countless spills - milk and soda, girls wanted to spend night next door -- tears galore when I said no... do I need to go on or do you get the picture? And the doctor says I don't need nerve pills. Thank God for my prozac. "1,2,3...Phewwww."

I'm reminded of a cartoon that the kids watch and at the end they sing, "Hey, JoJo whadaya say, we all wanna know whatcha learned today?" Well here goes...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

There's nothing I can do about today's events. "Don't sweat the small stuff" - even though the house looks like I have three small tornadoes, ummm, I mean kids. I might as well be happy about the day - I can't change it and we did have fun: We baked brownies, watched a movie, and played in the nice clean pool. "1,2,3...Phewwww."

You know I still have the divorce from J**** on the back burner. Today -- with him sober would have been a lot easier if he had been here. His being in jail on the weekends has shown me what it would be like without him here. Kids may be calmer without him here, but goodness -- I'm wore out.

Update on DUI/Marital/Alcohol... problems --

• He has been sober close to 1 month now. It has been nice. But, I'm still wary of his motives. Is he sober for himself and because he wants sobriety or is it because he knows that he has to report to jail each weekend?
• Wednesday night, J**** was not drinking, but I swear (I've been with him over seven years and I know him) he was on something. He had L**** (neighborhood drunk) and B**** (co-worker drunk) at the house with him all day. When kids and I came home - had to deal with two drunks that were not my spouse. Also, he was trying his darndest to find a bag of weed (which would have been a big mistake at jail time) and was trying to get me to drive them to L-burg to buy some. I said no.
• Rained most of the week so he couldn't work. He was home alone for four days. I don't think I should have to be worried about cleaning the house on Saturday (my day off) it should have been cleaned, since there was nothing else he could do. His accomplishments those four days: 1) he loaded the dishwasher one day, 2) he cleaned the litterboxes one day. Both of these mind you, I had to ask him to do and he gave me that "1,2,3...Phewwww" sound.
  
• J**** had a talk with his father and tells me that his father is dying from polyps with three to six months to live. Last time (4 years ago) his father was dying from liver damage. He only had six months that time too. I asked has a biopsy been done? That was the end of our conversation, he looked at me with that "You cold-hearted bitch look?" He didn't say it, but if looks could kill.
• We had to transfer all vehicles out of his name because of the DUI. This meant a trip to the DMV. Well -- that was a fiasco. Trying not to enable, I told him to find out what needed to be done and gather what was needed, all I would do was sign the transfer papers. Trip 1 - clerk sends us back home for title, Trip 2 - clerk sends us back home for insurance (he didn't pay his insurance and the card is in his name, card has to be in mine, I won't pay for insurance on his vehicle) so, Trip 3 - clerk sends us back home to get tags off of vehicle -- I leave his ass at home because he is ranting and raving about this process, and I inform him that this wouldn't be an issue if he didn't get a eff'n DUI in the first place. (My al-anon friends are most likely shaking their heads right now.) I get back to the DMV - hand over the plate and then they tell me it is going to cost $29.00. I just paid it - then they ask me about the 1993 Red Thunderbird. So, Trip 4, the next day with him -- I prepare all the logistics and we are in and out in five minutes and it costs $1.00 to do a junk title on the vehicle. Yes I enabled but a gal can only take so much on her lunch hour.
• J**** goes to court Monday morning to prove that the vehicles have been transferred and to discuss payment of fine with the judge.
• Wednesday was a day for J**** to see that he too is a codependent. First as I've already said he spent the day babysitting two drunks. His dad (an alcoholic too) was supposed to be at our house by 6:30 p.m. Thankfully, Granny had the girls spend the night with her, because we ended up searching for his Dad and wound up at his Dad's house at 9:30 p.m. J**** did all the codependent things like calling the hospitals and jails. He kept calling his Dad's cell phone to no avail, until he couldn't stand it any longer and had to go search for some peace of mind. It did my heart good to see him acting like me, but it also made me sad to see how one person can affect so many others with their thoughtlessness.

"1,2,3...Phewwww."