What Lifestyle Change?

OK -- So ya'll know that we are doing the Dave Ramsey Total Money Make Over thing...

So here's how it is going so far...

Arrears Caught Up & we have a Budget
DONE - $1761.86 - 2/9/2007
Baby Step 1 (Emergency Fund)
DONE - $1000.00 - 2/15/2007
Baby Step 2 (14 SNOWBALLS to throw - totaling approx. $22,000)
Snowball 1 - $413.00 - Thrown 2/16/07
Snowball 2 - $167.04 - Thrown 2/23/07

Now for some things that I have learned about myself and our family heirarchy in this process.

1. This program tells you to live on what you make or on less than you make. We have been doing that all along, BUT for only 1/2 of the month when we ran out of money. If you've heard the old saying there's not enough paycheck left at the end of the month. Or as my Granny would ask "Is that money burning a hole in your pocket?" "Don't spend it all in one place." We'd spend it all up, because hey if there's a few bucks in there, we can use it. We lived for the moment. Now we are living on what we had to live on at the end of the month (why not we were already used to it) most of the time. In so doing, we have excess and we are able to put that towards our debt. Know what? It isn't miserable -- it is refreshing, it is great, because we know that the load will be off of us quicker.
2. We've had to sacrifice a few things, but it is probably for the best anyway. Seems that a lot of the things we are giving up are convenience items and vices. I quit smoking back in November, that saves a considerable amount of money. You wouldn't realize it but buying J**** cartons of cigarettes at a time versus by the pack saves $30.00 a month. We have stopped eating out except on Thursdays. J**** takes his lunch and the majority of the time, I don't eat out at lunch time. I am worst on this point than him. I've stopped buying sodas except for J**** to take in his lunch - this also saves us more than $50.00 per month. J**** has stopped playing poker every weekend - this saves another $45.00 per month. We have put off buying a new couch until we can find a good used one that we like. When I buy groceries -- I shop the flyer and the sale items, unless it is a necessity I WILL NOT pay full price - family of 5 and we are paying less than $100 a week for groceries and eating good.
3. I am having a hard time saying WE. It seems like I have trained myself to sole take ownership of the family finances. In part because of J****'s alcoholism (76 days clean and sober--hooray) and it is also my personality to be very independent. I actually started this post by saying I am doing the Dave Ramsey Total... and had to go back and change it to We are doing... J**** is getting more involved in the budgetary matters and he is taking an interest and getting more on board each day. I get a little territorial and try to make all of the decisions, but then I remember what Popaw J*** told me, marriage is 100/100, it is not 50/50. This not only goes for someone not pulling their weight but also for someone being too overbearing in an area. So the money is not all my responsibility it is OUR responsibility. Hard for me to let go SOLE ownership.
4. I am an ENABLER. Not just an enabler to the traditional types of addictions, but an enabler to poor money management. I have a hard time telling people NO when they ask for money. When the money is asked for and I know that the only reason they are in need is because of their OWN poor decision making and lack of planning I must say NO. I've listened to Dave's show and realize that this is enabling -- it is enabling to keep cosigning loans for a family member not able to pay their bills, it is enabling to keep lending them money when they do NOT have a budget or a job. One woman called in and had filed bankruptcy on $95,000. $80,000 of that was NOT her debt, but was debt that she had cosigned for a family member. I would feel SO betrayed. But, I have in the past enabled this sort of behavior.
5. I have regained hope and am optimistic. We can do this. I want to have the money to pay cash for my children to go to college. I want to be a millionaire when I am 65. I want to be debt free. I want to be a good steward of those things that the Lord has given me. I want to give freely to the church and to those around me in true NEED without it causing hardship for myself and/or my family. I want to raise my children to respect money and to understand how to use that money, not to love it but to use it as a tool.
   

I placed one of them little quizzy things that you take to tell you where you would be at 65 if you follow Dave's plans in my sidebar. It says that if I follow his plan I will have saved $3,054,000. WOW!!! Just to think it is possible is unfathomable. But, hey it is worth a try.

Growing up is hard to do.