Taking Inventory

1. I AM BROKE

I got paid today and only have 81 bucks left out of my check. So, it's a good day to quit smoking. The sign (astrological thingy) is in the loins, so per the country folk - since the sign is going out of the body it is a good time to quit something, wean a calf, potty train a child, start a diet, etc. Worked with potty training and taking the bottle away from kids -- so why not work on me. We'll see. That will save around $90.00 a month on cigarettes. That will almost cover the girls' dance classes. If you are a philanthropist and would like to adopt a lovely family, we are available and I do have a paypal account for easy money transfer.

2. I AM GRUMPY

What else do you expect -- I quit smoking. Actually it is a great excuse to be grumpy. I've ran around here all day (smoke free since 11 am this morning) just using the no cigarette thingy as an excuse to be seriously obnoxious. And I got away with it -- Nah nah nah nah nah nah.

3. I AM ASHAMED OF MYSELF

The airplane crash here in Kentucky has touched people all around me. As my fellow blogger meherenow (OUCH) said in one of her latest posts. Don't forget to let those around you know how much you appreciate them. Go to the Lexington Herald and you will find complete coverage and the tragic stories of the individuals. The copilot is still alive. They say he was at the controls of the plane during the crash, and he is the sole survivor. Please, dear God, don't let this tragedy be ruled his fault. Could you imagine the guilt one would feel to have to live with the death of 49 people because of a mistake? Don't forget next time you get on a plane to appreciate your pilot and think of what an unforgiving job he/she has. One mistake in that field could be your last mistake.

4. I SUCK AS A HOUSEKEEPER

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait for tomorrow,
For babies grow up, I've learned, to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.
~Ruth Hulburt Hamilton~

5. MY SIX YEAR OLD IS JUST LIKE ME

Have you ever heard, you can't live WITH someone just like you -- that is why opposites attract. My six year old is just like me. She looks like me, has brown eyes like me, has my body type, my hair color, and yes she has my attitude. She is defiant, sassy, an arbitrator, manipulative clone of her mother and she is making me NUTS!!!

6. I'M HYPOCRITICAL AND MEAN

Dismaying Story #36: Hurting the Ones We Love

This is a great article on Andrew's blog. Read it and think, have I ever done that? Dr. Jekyll to friends, co-workers, total strangers, and Mrs. Hyde to your family. Yep, I am helpful and kind and witty and perky from 8:00 to 4:30 -- then when I get home you'd think OH MY GOD!!!!!! Where did she come from? My dad would be proud, my mom would be ashamed -- but yes, I can cuss like a sailor and cut your self-esteem into little pieces with the words that spew from my mouth. The good Lord was right in James 3 - (here is a snippet -- go to Zondervan and read the whole chapter)

8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.

7. I HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM

I have passed three watermelon sized children through my hips. Those hips aren't as small or as cute as they used to be. I have nourished three children whose weight is over the 100th percentile at well checks, from my breasts, so yes they sag. I'm married to an alcoholic, so yes my hair is graying (Thank God for Loreal Auburn Brown). I went to a private almost ivy leaque school and have no common sense at times. I make good money and can't keep my head above water. Sometimes I feel like such a failure - 2 crappy marriages, broke, and I'm starting to look like a mother instead of a hotty like I did before. Worst of all -- I'm starting to say those things my mother used to say. But, tee hee hee -- I don't look as much like her as you do SIS. Hahahahahahahah (See --I'm mean.)

8. O'DOUL'S

Honestly, comment and let me know your opinion of O'Doul's. The label says non-alcoholic brew. .5 percent alcohol per bottle. I know that is less than 1 percent, but really -- is this sobriety, or am I too hard nosed? Also, would you just kick his ass for giving the kids a drink of it and thinking it is cute when the 20 month old grabs the can and says " shhhuuu" while sticking out his tongue? Honestly I hate anything that looks, sounds, smells, or remotely reminds me of alcohol.


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SUMMING IT ALL UP:

Most of this is poking fun at myself while just taking a step back and saying -- hey BITCH -- Being In Total Control of Herself -- straighten up. Been feeling sorry for myself again, been procrastinating, been paranoid -- whole world is out to get me sort of thing. How you say -- My bank's URL is blocked at work, the bridge to the town where my bank is located is closed until November 10, etc, etc.

But you know what -- when I walk in that door at 5pm everyday and three beautiful babies yell, Mommy and the noise is constant chatter about their day -- I know, I am blessed. So what if I'm broke, didn't The Beatles say:

For I don't care too much for money
For money can't buy me love
Can't buy me love
Everybody tells me so
Can't buy me love
No, no, no, no!

I know you've all heard it -- sing it outloud now!!!! There you go, one more time. Yep, it's stuck in there now isn't it. You'll be singing that all day. Ha hahahahahahahaha haha. (YEP -- I'M MEAN!!!)