Now What?

Okay. So, now what do I do? Hmmmm. This is different.

Let me qualify -- he says he's gone and looked at an apartment. Do I believe him? I dunno? This just might be it.

Do I love him? Yes

I'm reminded of a time when my ex-brother-in-law, of a kindred spirit with my husband asked me a question one time and it was a very good question. "Why do you women chase the bad boys? Want the bad boys? Then once you get them - you try to change the thing that attracted you to them?" For an ol' redneck boy, that is really deep and I can't answer it.

So what prompted this last effort at taming a wild one?

Tuesday: Drunk. The final straw, nothing real big, just pushed me over the edge. I came home to my mom here at the house watching the kids. I have to be at school at 6pm for Parent Teacher Meeting without the kids. J**** knows about parent teacher and is supposed to watch kids while I am there. I get a call about 15 minutes after getting home and it is J****'s coworker. J**** is drunk and wants me to come and pick him up. I emphatically say NO and blast him for being irresponsible. It all boiled down to: My 70 year old mother had to watch our children when he had committed to doing it. She had had the 20 month old since 7:30 that morning and was tired.

I know in al-anon we are taught to not depend upon the alcoholic to be responsible for anything, but damnit -- isn't that enabling?

He messed with my mama by inconveniencing her and she was already tired. Don't mess with my mama -- this old cat arches her back and pulls out her claws.

So for the strange part -- in Kentucky I can't make him leave without a court order, so it's kind of like giving away kittens (try it, it is almost impossible). So he's here, under my feet, watching my every move, whining about me when I'm on the computer (so my blogging is slowing down) and I'm just being a real bitch -- not in front of the kids, but boy oh boy. He needs to just get a clue -- and I don't mean the butler in the library with a candlestick either. But hey--if I had a butler--that might be an idea. Just joking.

So now what -- as they say in al-anon "One Day at a Time." Other cliche's "Good things come to those that wait." "Patience is a virtue." "A watched pot never boils."

By the way -- please pray for my niece and my sister. My niece has been diagnosed with Sarcoidosis and it is very scary. I love them both. Pray for my coworker whose house burned down 2 days ago. Their plights make mine seem trivial and puts it all in perspective.

Thank you all for your comments, prayers, words of encouragement. I'm tough and my babies are wonderful.

God bless you all.