I am tired. I just want to give up. I spoke with J**** yesterday and from what he says, he isn't ready to stop.He just wants to come home from work, drink 2 or 3 beers, relax, and go to bed. I said yes, that would be fine, BUT your personality doesn't allow you to do that. You have a tendency to drink ALL the beer you have in one setting, like tomorrow there will be no more beer.
I reminded him that we tried that once before (he didn't remember) and that things would be fine for a couple of weeks, then a day or two of binge hell, then a couple of weeks of okay, then the cycle kept going.
Even with just two or three beers he is still no fun to be around, he plays too rough, he is full of liquid courage and doesn't care who's feelings he hurts. It's like his filter for his tongue, gets turned off.
Oh well, he works third shift, we never see him anyway, and I just really don't care TODAY. Am I giving up or am I letting go?
I have too much other crap to worry about without worrying about what he wants to do. I have three babies and myself to worry about. As long as he stays asleep and out of our way, for TODAY, I don't give a rat's butt.
He'd just better stay out of my way, cuz I'm in single mom mode and ain't puttin' up with his crap.
Oh yeah -- and I guess the paying attention part - is just sex. Whoop-dee-doo.
1 comment:
I don't blame you a bit! He is in denial that he has a problem and is unwilling to make the life changes that he has to make to become sober.
Contrary to what AA and others may tell you, alcoholism is NOT a disease. It is a behavior problem that is a symptom of some other psychological problems. Behavior can be changed..extrinsically or intrinsically and for most alcoholics it is the former. They either change or wind up in the slammer, on skid row or dead. But the behavior will be changed...eventually...
Then there are many of us who found somehow the courage to make the life changes that we had to make to become sober. Easy? hell no but we believe that it beats staying drunk.
Post a Comment