I'm Not One to Give Advice

I was asked in a comment to give advice on money. That is laughable. I'm not laughing at you but at me. I can tell you about the advice I am following -- but when it comes to money, I am one of the worst.

Here's the question that I received:

Can you email me about The Total Money Makeover? I am so proud of the work you all are doing, and we need it terribly! I would love to attend a class, but cannot afford it right now. Could you give me your advice, what works for you, etc.?

Here's my money "advice" with a preface --

I am the baby in the family. I am spoiled. I have gotten pretty much everything I ever wanted. My Mom used to say that if I told Daddy that I wanted the moon he'd build a ladder long enough to reach it and get it for me. I don't fault them, they love me. On top of that, if you have read my early posts you know about all of my quirks (adult child of an alcoholic, married an abuser, then married an alcoholic, suffer from depression, etc.). All of these quirks contribute to my lack of discipline when it comes to such things as money management, weight management, time management, being able to say NO. I am big hearted and I want to share what I have, I am a pushover, etc.

My brother from what I understand makes pretty good money, but he also has said that he has trouble with managing his money too. He claims that Mama/Daddy never taught him to balance a checkbook, never taught him to save. But like my brother I am a reader and I have read, and read some more until I found someone that made sense to me when it came to handling our family's money. My brother is also a passivist and can't say NO.

My sister she has quirks too. She like me is an enabler and we tend to enable those around us that can't manage their money to use our money. So, if particularly a family member asks for money we will shortchange ourselves to provide for them.

Now some of these things are great traits. But...

Take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

You can't be lending your money to an adult child, family member, or friend. A quote from Shakespeare's Hamlet, "Neither a borrower or a lender be." If we take care of others then to take care of ourselves we use our credit cards. We justify it like this: I'll give them $10 so they can get cigarettes, I'll put these few groceries for me on the credit card. Everyone is immediately satisfied, but later the bill comes in and the family member seemed to forget all about that $10. Learn to say NO.

Don't put anything on credit but dirt.

A bill collector gave me this advice. In this society we tend to want immediate gratification. I need a new dress. I need an HDTV. I need a new cell phone. My mama always reminded me that there was a huge difference between a want and a need. Think about it -- do you just WANT it or do you really NEED it? You need groceries, a roof, transportation. But do you NEED filet mignon, a beach house, and a BMW? No. If we buy things that we WANT but do not NEED we live beyond our means. To live beyond our means we have to use credit cards. Financing anything except real estate, a house, a farm, a plot of land is not good. Most everything else depreciates and you are throwing your money away.

My grandparents never had a credit card. Mama and Daddy have one credit card, "for emergencies." They never had an emergency to need it. They continuously forget they have it. I guess when they didn't have those 29% interest minimum payments they forgot and actually had cash. Do you remember a time when your parents shunned credit? My old country raisin' did.

Stop Eating Out

I have started making a weekly menu. On this menu I outline every meal that the family will have. Groceries this week for breakfast, lunches, snacks, and dinners came to $96.00. Without the menu and the list of just the stuff I need to prepare those meals I was spending $140.00 each week. On Thursday nights when the girls have dance class -- we get to eat out. This week we will eat at McDonalds. A family of five eating at McDonalds is going to cost us around $27.00. That is almost 1/3 of my weekly at home food bill. Eating out costs a LOT. I cringe when I think of that $27.00. If I applied that to my grocery bill I could get enough ribeyes for our family, bake some potatoes, cut up a nice salad and bake a loaf of bread. Choices is what it is all about. Don't tell me you don't have time to cook -- I'm a mom of three and work full time and cook every night but Thursday.

Stop Smoking if you Smoke

Smoking is bad for your health and your pocketbook. We are guilty of this one. Yesterday at the discount tobacco shop I spent -- for this week $35.00. Last week a teacher at our church said that he used to smoke and got to the point where he considered it and felt as though he had been stealing money from his family.

If you go to Church, Don't Pay God Last

I know this may sound superstitious, but I have noticed that if I don't put money in the collection plate for God then I have no luck with my finances, if I do "lay by in store on the first day of the week" then I prosper. Put God first in ALL things, even your finances.

Do it together.

If you have a husband, partner, etc that you share financial responsibilities with -- make certain that you are on the same page. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER lie about money or anything for that matter, but DO NOT LIE about money to your spouse. It is a team effort one person can't be filling up the hole while another is digging the dirt back out. You get nowhere that way -- both have to work together to fill the hole that has already been dug.

So what to do?

Use the library -- it is free. I chose Dave Ramsey's plan because it follows Christian precepts, it focuses on giving, and he is plain talk. Check out -- My Total Money Makover, and Financial Peace. Read them -- realize how stupid you are (I did.) then...

Go to his website and look around, listen to his radio program -- he makes sense, he's funny, and he's been there. Sign up for the free trial forum on his site -- It is a wealth of information and Free is good. People in there will let you show them your budget and they will critique it and help you start thinking right.

Pray and ask God to forgive you for not being a good steward of your money and ask Him to guide you on this journey...

Make a budget -- see where you can cut and how you can live on LESS than your paycheck.

Catch up any past due bills.

Put money into savings ($1000) as a cushion for emergencies and don't touch it unless there is an emergency.

Start taking every extra penny or dime and throwing them at your creditors...

The Total Money Makeover Calls these Baby Steps.

I'll post more stuff I learn as I learn it -- I myself just learned to stand up and stop crawling. Remember, it is personal finance -- what works for me personally may not work for you. Goodluck and keep me posted and I will pray for your financial health.