Laying Down the Law

After this weekend I have every right in this world to Divorce, Cause Bodily Injury To, Get an EPO, you name it. I am so done with you.

I told you this morning on the phone, you will go to AA tonight. You will go to AA everytime the door is open. You will look at me and say yes ma'am, how high do you want me to jump and kiss my ass in the process.

I will NOT be lied to again. I am NOT stupid, I know if you have been drinking. I've been married to you almost six long years.

You will NOT embarrass me in front of my mother again. You will NOT upset my mother and make her worry about her grandbabies and fear leaving them and me alone with you.

I will NOT be called BITCH in front of my children again. I will not be referred to as WOMAN get this get that. I DEMAND respect.

If you are going to threaten to smash in my teeth -- do it you piece of chicken shit!!

If you are going to threaten to beat my eyes closed -- bring it. 'Cause bucko, you saw what a feisty woman can do to you - this bitch got you down on the floor and you couldn't move for 45 minutes and that was only because she LET you up.

If your 6'3" of drunken clumsiness thinks you can whoop my 5'7" inches of mama hen, then buddy, you have another thing coming to you. I can kick your ass. You are drunk. You have no balance, you have no aim, you cannot think on your feet. And, as you called me, this BITCH can take you.

I was beaten by one man in my life and it will never happen again.

I have fought a real man when he was drunk and I was a scrawny teenage girl at that time. My Daddy felt a lot worst than me the next day, I think he phrased it "I feel like I've been beat with a two x four."

I will NOT let my children be afraid of their father again. I would NOT be a good mother if my children ever have to lock themselves behind a bedroom door while their mama restrains their father, again. They will NOT be put in this situation AGAIN.

DIVORCE is one phone call away and you WILL NOT get custody, I WILL get sole custody.

I CAN do better without you. I truly believe that life would be better without YOU.

Why?

1) I would be happy -- looking at what you have become depresses me.
2) I would not be worried all of the time -- the stress of wondering if you are going to be drunk or sober is doing me in.
3) I will be nicer to my children -- the pressures of living with an alcoholic makes me less patient with them. I yell.
4) The house will be neater -- I can't get motivated to clean if your lazy butt is sitting there doing NOTHING.
5) We will have more money. You will have to pay child support, I won't have to feed you, clothe you, buy you cigarettes or pay your bills.
6) The children will be happier -- yes, I know it's mean to say, but they will. They stress now when you are late and F**** says, "I know he's drunk mommy."
7) The dog will be happier -- when you are drunk, you are mean to the big goofy dog.
8) I might start liking myself again. I don't like the whimp I've become with you, or the grump I've become with my babies, or the slob I've become with my home. I've let myself and everything go. DEPRESSION sucks.

In other words, buddy. I don't need you. You may need me. But I DON'T need you. Actually, I don't think you need me -- right now all I think you need is the next high or the next buzz or the next drink.

You need help. I need help. But, evidently we can't help each other.

You help yourself, I'll help myself, I'll help our children, then one day when you are healed maybe you can help us.

Until then, help yourself OUT THE DAMN DOOR.