Godly Issues

I am a member of the Church of Christ and many folks hear that and say, "ohhh, I see." Then they ask which one, the liberal or conservative bunch? Shocker the conservative bunch. Then, I get the response, "oh the one that believes everyone is going to hell but you." Well, no we don't believe that because we are not even guaranteed that we aren't going to hell. Salvation is proactive and by grace. You have to do what you're told.

So ,folks say don't worry about what your church says. They are referring to the people. I, however, am not referring to the individuals but what I believe is taught by the Lord.

Now, I know that wedding vows were written by man. But I did make a vow for better or worse. Lots of people have it a whole lot worse. Lots a whole lot better. I had worse with husband number one. The scriptures teach there is only one reason for divorce. We have studied this at church and the members along with me don't believe that God is saying to live with abuse but he does set stipulations upon getting remarried. I don't want to be alone.

And yes, I forgive and I love, and I rejoice daily. I am an optimist because this World is not my reward and as my tagline says We are to be a peculiar people. I have taught my children to pray and we pray for them their daddy and for me. I pray also.

My preacher, yes the preacher of a conservative church has said that he understands my reason for pursuing divorce and that there is a divorce action on the lawbooks that is still not finalized. But he also from his dealings with J**** has the feeling that there is hope. He has suggested and he and his wife have offered me and the children sanctuary in their home if needed to escape for a few days and to "give J****" a taste of life without us.

I know in the past my biggest issue has been what would God want me to do.

I know that my children are effected, but I have not taught them to ignore the elephant in the living room as I was. Nor have I taught them to treat the disease of alcoholism as a dirty little secret.

It is a disease and I have learned that in alanon. I can't cure it. He can't cure it. Yes many say a self inflicted disease but as a person that suffers from depression and a food addiction and a nicotine addiction I know that if there is something that you feel you can't handle I tend to lean upon either self-pity, food ,or cigarettes. In his case it is alcohol. I have found more and more everyday that I can lean on God. My higher power. J**** needs to establish that relationship with his heavenly father and learn to lean on Him. I am also a firm believer that he will not put on my shoulders more than I can bear.

Now, I promised to publish good and bad.

J**** and I briefly discussed his drunken episode and I asked him to explain the trigger. He was stressed out about the possibility of a drug test and realizes he needs to develop coping skills of which he has none.

Example: The passenger mirror on the van was broken a couple of weeks ago. It weighed on him. He imagined me careening down the road hitting everything in site. He had it set in his mind it would cost 3-400 dollars to fix. He didn't stop to survey. I looked into it and we can get a new one for fifty bucks and replace it ourselves.

Same thing when he got drunk. He let his mind dwell on a petty issue that has not and will not come to fruition.

Other nice stuff. He had dinner ready last night when we came home. Lasagna garlic bread and salad. Which was very nice because I was exhausted.

Oh and I took my antidepressant.

Stayed up to midnight to make "mismatched" shirts for girls because the sewing machine decided it would not work right. So the picture above is of the girls in their mismatched shirt. This is for some sort of school spirit thing they are doing at school this week. I bought two t-shirts at Goodwill, cut them in half and then sewed the mismatched halves together. Aren't they precious?