Disservice

disservice
A	noun
	1	disservice, ill service, ill turn
				an act intended to help that turns out badly; "he did them a disservice"

J**** uses the excuse for drinking of..."it eases the pain."; "it helps me relax."; "I deserve it, I work hard."

Now look at the definition of disservice. He explains away his alcoholism with the fact that the alcohol helps him cope with pain, stress, and as a reward system, etc...when in fact he is doing himself a disservice. How can someone not see that they are hurting themselves?

How a disservice --

1. Pain relief & Relaxation (the following are excerpts from a very interesting article on alcohol used for pain relief and relaxation - you can click on the text to take you there) -- "Emotionally, alcohol has a stimulating effect: 'l feel good, blow the pain"', she says. "However, it is also a suppressant and nulls the senses - but only temporarily. Sixteen hours after a bout of drinking, seratonin (the chemical that governs mood) lowers, causing depression. Depression makes you more aware of your pain so it's back to the bottle - and further depression. "On the physical side, low mood leads to lack of motivation which can result in de-conditioning such as stiff muscles, bad posture and guarding. Since alcohol often replaces food, the appetite can become poor and poor nutrition increases pain intensity...You may find yourself saying, "Never mind, I only have a good drink every so often so it can't hurt." Think again! Although the alcohol may have left your system within 24 hours, it can take your body up to 40 days to fully recover from the toxins that it leaves behind..."One of the best known effects of alcohol is that it is a depressant. It depresses our inhibitions, our pain levels and our mood. Unfortunately, while the effect on our inhibitions and pain levels is short lived the effect on our mood is not. Long term use of alcohol is known to be an important factor in the cause and maintenance of clinical depression and many anxiety problems. Both of these conditions will increase the amount of pain you feel. In addition people who drink more than a few units of alcohol are likely to have worse sleep patterns, poorer quality sleep and be more irritable in their day to day activities.
2. I deserve it I work hard -- Alcohol is advertised in our society as a reward for hard work. But based upon the symptoms above -- this reward disables him from enjoying the true rewards of life, his children. When drinking -- he is not responsible enough to play with or be with his children, after drinking (when he drinks during the day when we are away) he is unable because he is "sleeping it off." The next day - he can't because he is hung-over and very irritable. So his reward to himself punishes his children and it also punishes the spouse - by giving her the extra responsibility of being a two-paycheck household with a single mom.

I long ago faced the fact that he will not quit drinking for me or for the children. But being as self-centered a person as he is -- he should figure out that he is cheating himself from having one heck of a life. Because, his children and I are living our lives as though he does not exist. We do what we need to do and what we want to do -- only he is losing out on the grand time.

Yep, he is doing himself a disservice. What a sad existence he has...