Getting it ALL off my chest...

I'm going to be forty on Saturday -- so, I'm going to be whiney. I earned it.

Here goes...

Overwhelmed

Everyone looks at me and thinks I have it all together. Well, I don't. I am so in over my head it is not funny. People comment, "I don't see how you do it, you work, you have three kids, you fix them supper, their hair is combed, you run the church website, you teach a Bible class..." blah, blah, blah. Well truth is...I stay up to 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning, just trying to stay caught up. My house is extremely messy-can't blame it all on kids, it's the one thing that I just have to let go. Something had to give and it is a clean house. J**** works third shift, so in the evenings he needs a little extra sleep and I become the only parent. I'm not complaining -- I'm proud of his progress and I am glad to give him that opportunity, but..

Trip to the E.R.

...sometimes things falls through the cracks. J**** mowed the yard and left the gas can out. We forgot to lock the backyard gate. I was doing homework with the girls and not paying close attention to the boy. He thought he was being a big boy and pulled the gas can down, it tipped over and spilled over his head and in his eyes. D***** and I rushed to the E.R. He cried, I cried, J**** and I played the blame game for a bit then said -- hey, it was an accident, thankfully the boy is okay. It was so pitiful. He held me and the gas got on my face -- it burned. I could only think how bad it must be hurting him. Trying to pay attention to all three...D*****'s safety fell through the cracks.

I'm too Fat

My B.M.I. is 36.

• Underweight = <18.5
• Normal weight = 18.5-24.9
• Overweight = 25-29.9
• Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

Enough said on that topic.

Burned Out

I love my job, but I am bored. B-O-R-E-D. I understand that since I miss a lot of work ( they are very understanding) it is hard to assign me the big tasks. With three young children you miss a lot. This week -- I missed Monday due to D**** having a tummy bug and 1/2 day today with the eye doctor thing. But, I am capable of so much more. A few months back I was working on a project -- I found a way of resolving a need we were having. I asked if we had access to a specific type of server. No we didn't. I researched how much it would cost. It was a lot of money and I was told that we couldn't get the money for that. A while later the V.P. asked the same question -- why yes, we would get right on it. The V.P. can find money for anything he wants. I had mentioned several times I would like it to be my project before this and that I would like to learn the technology. The project was given to someone else, I was disappointed. But, I am happy to have a good job. I just need something more to motivate me.

Not only am I whiney, but my Kids are Whiney

It is the end of the school year, everything is coming to a final rush...Dance, school, Brownies, Daisies, birthdays. They are tense, I am tense, they are at each other's throats. Sisters --- phew. You take it out on the ones you love. I need to get a handle on this. The oldest is testing her boundaries, the youngest just wants more attention. Aaaarrrrrggggghhh. Sometimes, I just blow up. They get privileges taken away and they cry and whine and OMG they make me nuts.

I'm smoking, smoking, smoking.

And the doctor says I don't need a nerve pill.

Happy Birthday to me

I'm going to be 40. No big deal. It's just another number -- Popaw lived to be 99 -- that's another 59 years. I am embracing my gray hairs, but hating the aching joints. All I want for my birthday is a clean house and some me time. No kids, no husband -- just me. I'd be happy to turn the radio up and just clean the house to my liking -- then soak in a hot bathtub and take a nap. Since Mother's day is Sunday -- hint hint -- this would be great.



A Big Scare

J**** has been trying to be hired on full-time at the factory. Yay!!!! he is now full time. But...it was an uphill battle. He got a call this morning from the HR department telling him that he had falsified his application by saying NO to the question - "Have you ever been imprisoned for a felony or misdemeanor?" Well, I love my husband but when nervous he doesn't think real straight and to him imprisoned meant in prison. The saving factor was that in his interview they asked him if he had any concerns that might keep him from being hired. He told them he has two DUI's and served jail time. Thank God that he is brutally honest. From the phone call today around 12:30 until the decision at 3:30 we prayed and prayed and prayed. Today prayer worked. Thank you Lord. My husband has a full time job. We are proud and happy.

New Seats at Church

Yep, they got rid of the bench type pews and put in stadium style seating. Do you know how hard it is to control three kids in seats that have a seat that will bounce up and down? They can't lay down if they are getting tired, the seats are too close so the boy can't sit in the floor and do what two year olds do to keep them occupied. So, the boy and I stay out of the auditorium, he cries, I want to cry and the girls well -- towards the end they rock in their seats. I'm not spanking them due to a decision made without regards to thinking it completely through. They do look pretty though.

I could go on and on... but that is enough for today... Remind me to tell you about who all I am worried about. Good thing I don't drink...Nah -- I wouldn't have my life any other way.