Last Week

I know I haven't blogged for a while. Things have been hectic and I feel right now like I've always got someone watching over my shoulder.

I love my father-in-law, but he is lost right now and is interested in the "cool" things I do on the computer. Work has also been really hectic -- so, I'm taking the last few minutes of my lunch hour today to update the going's on in this never-ending drama.

Sound like my sister -- "Drama Queen anonymous" We should start a recovery group.

Father-in-law rented a UHaul and moved all of his stuff out of his apartment last week (Wednesday). Well, they didn't have a licensed driver, so I got to drive a 26 foot standard shift diesel UHaul. Yeah -- I'm bad!

Hubby decided to get a "friend" from work to help -- another non licensed drunk who brought his own supply of Bud Dry. Hubby decided hey -- its okay -- I'll embibe in some too. Dumbass. Well, a few made him grumpy, he was hot, tired from no sleep and he yelled at us all day -- hurry up, I need to work tonight. I need to get to bed. I, I, I, I, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Yep, he yelled at his dad for taking 20 minutes to register for the storage building, but it took him 1 1/2 hours to get back from "friends" apartment. Yeah -- he was REALLY worried about getting home and getting to bed.

Can you read the dripping sarcasm between the lines?

So he slept it off and tried to go to work -- when he got there he reeked of alcohol and his supervisor sent him home "off the record." He didn't come home. He went to the pool room in the neighboring town, from there to the bar, where he met up with three hoodlums. Ended up in Louisville which is over an hour away at a "titty" bar where they would not admit him because he was too intoxicated and not dressed appropriately for their fine establishment.

Somehow he ended back home the next morning after I got to work. He had been beaten up and had lost his lunch pack containing identification information and other important "stuff." He was with the rumored to be town junkie. He, town junkie, and our dog (why, I don't know) took off walking and the next I heard from him was when I got a call from my mother.

Mother said he pulled into the drive in an old blue pickup truck with the dog. He had on no shoes and was DRUNK.

I leave work to pick up my van which was done at the repair shop and to receive the intoxicated spouse. I take spouse and dog home. Spouse has a black eye, a cut over eye, and is soaking wet from swimming the Kentucky River. I know, don't ask.

Now I have to figure out who this truck belongs too, is it stolen, where does it go, etc... I find out that truck belongs to junkie -- I track down where he lives and attempt to return the truck... BUT, it runs out of gas. I leave it parked in a lot in town. Take his keys and place them in his mailbox with a scathing note to simply stay away from my husband and my family.

Hubby doesn't go into work again on Thursday night. He is on probation at work.

Hubby is now charming, perfect, church going, great dad, king of all that is perfect and pure in this world. I'm still pissed.

So -- what about it...

He spent about 60 bucks on his excursion, lost his lunch box, lost his glasses (found by his sister), lost his shoes (retrieved from dock at the river), lost his shirt and hat (found at my parents), lost his id for work (10 bucks to get a new one), lost my parents respect for his accomplishments in recent months, will be placed back on probation, lost his vacation time for family reunion, lost my trust.

I hope it was worth it.

Okay so the river ordeal. Yep, sis, he went to see your ex-husband. Nuff said.

J

This is J.
This is J in withdrawals.
This is J when he is worried.
This is J when he is irritated.
This is J when he has no patience.
I prefer J's sober and happy face.
J is an alcoholic -- I don't like him when he drinks.
I love J all of the time.
J is trying hard to stay sober but has only been dry.
J's likes Bud Light.

J has been prescribed Buspar.
Buspar makes J grouchy.
J has lots of issues that need to be dealt with...
J yells too much.
J looks sexy when he is in the swimming pool.

J stands for Joy, which he has given me.
J also stands for Jerk, which he is when he wakes up.
J stands for Jealous -- which he tends to be.
J loves me.

J is a caregiver and I am independent.
J's dad is living with us now.
J wants to take care of his dad.
J's dad is a dry alcoholic.
J has harbored bad feelings about his dad.
J and I are under a LOT of stress.
J is a worrier.
J needs to let go and have faith.
J stands for Jesus -- Who is someone he needs in his life.
J needs prayer.

J works really hard.
J is on probation at work -- more stress.
J is NOT a communicator.
J is a loner.
J is too proud to ask for help.
J needs real friends.
J needs to join AA.

J is loved.
J is a father, husband, brother, and a son.
J is worried about by those who love him.
J has a good mother.
J loves his kids a lot and is a pretty darn good dad.
J's children love him.
J is my husband and the father of our three children.
J is 30 years old.
I am actually very proud of J.

J is very charming.
J saved me and taught me how to LIVE life.
Gentle should start with J.
Animals love J.
J gets a lot of "flack" from folks.
J needs positive reinforcement.

J has a stubborn, independent, pushy wife on antidepressants.
J is growing up.
J's wife is 10 years his senior.
J is starting to be more responsible.
J is taking his DUI classes like he should.
J and his wife are bad with money.
J and his wife are on a budget.
J gives really great hugs.

J is my husband.
J and I are ONE.
J is my partner.
J is going to make it.
J has the potential.
J is intelligent.
J is J and I wouldn't have him any other way.

I love you J.

Topsy Turvy

I think I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown on Wednesday of last week. My stomach was tearing me up so I called into work sick for that day. I finally last night finished a two-week plus period and things were just out of control. Oh yeah!!! J**** had been drunk earlier that week and well -- I'll tell you about that one later.

J**** came home from work Thursday and I was sitting on the back porch smoking a cigarette and shaking. I emailed work and asked to go ahead and take my vacation until the holiday was over. My boss said "Go for it." So I did.

So -- here is what I did on my summer vacation -- literally it sucked!!

Wednesday -- Nutty day!!! Sick, sick, sick to stomach. Layed on couch all day.

Thursday -- I called in and said to myself -- rejuvenate, accomplish, organize, and love my children who need some attention until the Fifth of July. So -- J**** immediately says, we have to go to Frankfort and take Dad to court. Huh? Me? I'm off for ME. Heavy sigh -- away we go. I go to grocery while they are in court, they get done and go over to a court appointed DUI program and sign up (progress, yay!) We go to the Dad's house -- NO FOOD, NO NOTHING. He comes home with us. Yep -- I guess he's here to stay. He is helping to clean the house.

Friday -- We clean house, J**** sleeps, my friend M***** is opening a new BBQ restaurant and we are invited to the premier night. We all go and take Dad. We are second in line at her restaurant and Dad has a seizure. He has been good and hasn't drank since Sunday. He also hasn't been to bed in almost 48 hours. I'd say a combination of the two and that he is prone to have seizures (we counted about seven in the last few years). We got our food to go and spent the evening in the E.R. The kids were standing beside him when he had the seizure. 2 year old kept saying all night long "Papaw Fall." Almost 6 year old cried and a good friend of mine from work and his wife took her to the side and prayed with her. Thank goodness for M&D they took care of my babies during the crisis. My 7 year old had to ask a million questions. I think it scared them pretty bad. We went to the hospital and the kids and I had a picnic in the back of the van while J**** tended to his father in the E.R. The kids wanted to see Papaw so J**** later took them back one at a time to see him. While we were having our picnic we got to see the Emergency helicopter take off. The kids thought that was neat. J**** came out and told us it would be another hour -- so we ran over to Wal-Mart and F**** got to use her birthday gift card and buy her a new dress. G***** got one too, and D***** got some big boy undies.

Saturday -- House cleaning. J**** sleeping after he gets home from work. J**** is a major grump. Papaw is a good help with cleaning, but I know that he is not feeling well. We grill out, J**** just keeps yelling at kids, there are comments about their whining and not listening. My GOD they just saw their Papaw have a seizure the night before, things are a little topsy turvy. J**** is triggered. Before I put the kids to bed, he says that he is going to the store to get a soda. I knew better so stayed in bed. He got drunk -- I slept. He was real sick the next day -- serves him right.

Sunday -- Church in the morning. My Daddy needed a new table saw and had been griping to go get one for a couple of days. I get home from church and call Daddy to tell him I'd take him to get it (he is 70). He's a mouthy old grump. We go to Sears and get him a table saw -- we actually had a nice time. I was shocked. I was dreading going with him, but it worked out. He talked a lot about missing his old friends that have passed on and especially missing his big brother. Bless his heart. We went to church in the evening and they had singing -- at the end, they asked for people who need help to "come forward." I raised my hand, since Ms. G***** was asleep in my lap and asked for everyone's prayers since J**** had started drinking again. Everyone wanted to know how to help. I said pray and take him under your wings.

Monday -- J**** has to work first shift. I'm home with kids and Dad. I finally get the upstairs clean -- our bedrooms have floors. WOW. If you had seen it before this you would understand what a major accomplishment this is. We take the kids to the library program and they have a blast. While in the library we run a few errands. Papaw applies for a few jobs, we get prescriptions filled -- I ask him if he has his prescription for Depakote so I can fill it for him. He didn't bring it -- I was going to pay for it. He's stubborn. J**** comes home from work and tells me (not ask me) that his dad wants to be moved out of his apartment by Wednesday. Now I'm pissed -- ummmm when were you going to tell me. I knew it was inevitable, but you should have told me sooner, or discussed with me, or something. My goodness. The rest of the night wasn't too bad, but I did retreat to my room upstairs to sulk. I explain to 7 year old that he has come to stay and she cried and said that now he is the boss. I say NO -- Daddy & Mommy are the bosses, he lives by our rules -- you only mind him when he is correcting you for doing something, but he is NOT the boss.




Tuesday -- that is today, it is a new day. J**** and his Dad have both renewed their vow to stay alcohol free. I've got my great niece staying the night tonight.

--I'll give my feelings, updates, etc... in a later post. No privacy right now. I need to scrub the toilets. Anyway -- this vacation has sucked.

Thank you Charming!!! I think he's going to take you up on that.

Stay tuned for the next exciting episode...