The Greatest Man I ever Knew

Papaw was born 103 years ago today. He died when he was 99 years and 3 months. Every year on his birthday he would say I'm X number of years and 9 months old today. He was a firm believer that when you are conceived you begin life, when you are born you are already 9 months in existence. So -- HE MADE IT to 100 in his eyes.

He had the most beautiful blue grey eyes you have ever seen and they were full of wisdom. Even though all he had was a third grade education he was the smartest man I have ever known. He read the Bible through at least two times. As a farmer he knew the seasons and the earth's planting and harvesting cycles and could tell you what the weather was like on this day in any given year of his life (this day in 1936 over 100 degrees and the year he was born there was a drought.) He knew everything needed to get by in this world. His dry wit could make anyone smile. People from miles around in the church knew and respected Mr. W*****. I hope to see him again one day.

I have learned many lessons from this man.

Guide, Guard,and Direct Us...

Papaw taught me faith in the Lord because he will not place more on me than I can bear. Never have I seen him out of control, angered or overly worried. His faith in God was unfaltering. Everytime he said blessing before a meal - "Heavenly Father accept our thanks for this food and all the many blessing of life, forgive us of our sins, guide, guard and direct us on through life, in Jesus name we pray, Amen" Even though he was 99 he still prayed for the "aged." He trusted in the Lord. When he was in the hospital, I asked him. "Papaw, what are you going to do when you get out of here? You can come home with me." He looked at me with those soulful eyes and said, "You don't have to worry about that, I know where I am going." He died the next day in the hospital, peacefully.

Every Tub Has to Sit on Its Own Bottom...

Papaw taught me about accountability. I was visiting him one day and I was worried about my husband. I told him that I couldn't get him interested in the Lord and I wanted to know what I could do to save him. "What Papaw can I do?" Papaw just shook his head and said, "There's nothing you can do, every tub has to sit on its own bottom."

There are many lessons and stories I could tell about this wonderful husband, father, grandfather, worker, friend, and child of God. But, I'm not sure there is enough space on the internet to sing all of his praises.

I miss him today, but remembering him today is helping me to recover. To remember that I need to trust in my Lord to help me and those that I love at all times. To pray without ceasing and to accept the fact that I am accountable for myself and I can't live someone else's life for them. I told you he was a very wise man.

I wish he were here today to make me laugh, to hear his happy whistling, to nudge him in church when he dozed off, to sit with him and his silent wisdom, which was usually his way, as he gently patted me on the leg, to take him on long trips and hear him tell about his life, to take him to the cemetery to put flowers on Granny's grave and hear him say how they never had a fight (Granny may disagree).

But, I am happy because I know that today he is walking the street of gold looking down at me and shaking his head and silently patting me on the leg.

7/11/1903 - 10/3/2002 + 9 months

Watch Out for #1

My mother is married to an alcoholic - all the time I was growing up and had an issue that pertained to me versus someone else -- Mama would say "just WATCH OUT FOR NUMBER ONE." I've been online chatting with my MIP buddies tonight and have made a new blog buddy Hoping4More and we are all very selfless individuals. We worry about what is best for our spouses, our children, our parents, but never about ourselves.

• When was the last time I went shopping for myself? Couldn't tell you.
• When was the last time I took off work for a day for me? Couldn't tell you.
• How many times have I traded my dinner plate with the kids or my husband, because they didn't like what they ordered? More than I can count.
• When was the last time I went out with my friends? Couldn't tell you.
• How many times in 6 1/2 years have my husband and I been alone without kids? I CAN count them on one hand.
• Need I go on?

Mama drilled it in my head "WATCH OUT FOR NUMBER ONE." Why didn't I listen? Hmmm. Could it be that other tidbit of wisdom that she gave my husband when our firstborn came along? J**** just remember they learn more from example than from what you tell them. Others say, "Monkey see, monkey do." "Do as I say, not as I do." Mama DIDN'T watch out for number one. She tried to warn me.

My sister went on Hoping4More's wonderful blog "Virtual Therapy" and made this comment:

"I should have left their daddy sooner. Children sometimes grow up and become what they see (my son has). I failed my children. I should not have been so concerned about what I should or should not do. I should have done what was best for them - NOT FOR ME. That was the only option that I had - no other."

Well Sis, I agree and disagree. You DID NOT fail your children you were and are a damn good mama. It was not what was best for you either, you didn't put number one first you were frightened and brainwashed to believe that he was number one. Mama didn't , you didn't, and I haven't. Well, she still doesn't, you still don't and me either. But, we need to. How much you wanna bet that the brother doesn't either?

When I was younger and thought I knew everything, I'd hear mama say "WATCH OUT FOR NUMBER ONE" and would think "Man she's selfish." Because, in church we are taught to love and to be selfless. To experience true joy you must put yourself third? J - Jesus, O - Others, Y - Yourself.

Mt 5:38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: 39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. 41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. 42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
Mt 5:43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? 47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? 48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

She knew ya'll. She knew. WATCH OUT FOR NUMBER ONE. Because, Hoping4More -- HE IS. Sister -- HE WAS. Me -- HE ALWAYS HAS.

And as for mama -- she still doesn't take her own advice.

Al-Anon Share

I am usually quiet in the Al-Anon sessions, I wanted to share today but we ran out of time. If there had been enough time -- this would have been my share -- if any of you are reading MIP brothers/sisters. Thank you.

While listening to Today's meeting my A called and asked "whatcha doing?"
I told him I am participating in an online al-anon session
"whatcha learning?" I told him what one of you said.
"when I am pointing the finger at him, I am pointing four back at me"
"what does that mean to you?" he asked.
When I'm mad at you I should ask myself why I am so angry and try to understand myself and you.
He says that when I bitch at him -- it makes him feel small and insignificant that his guilt gets worse and he then uses it as an excuse for another drink.
He was in a program once and they told him a craving lasts 7 seconds -- so he'll look at me sometimes when I am ranting and say "7 seconds babe."
If I wait those 7 seconds with him and stop my ranting -- and use the silence to think, my need to rant goes away -- just like a craving.
Believe me! 7 seconds can feel like a lifetime.
Guess his call today was timely -- thank you HP.
I'm learning and he's learning.
Patience is definitely a virtue.
Thank you all for your inspiration to me (My MIP brothers and sisters.)
done.